Dracula & Parody AllStars Racing
by Trialman AKA Soma Cruz
Summary: A story about many characters subject to parody racing through many different areas. Rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**Dracula & Parody All-Star Racing**

**A/N:** A new crack fic from me, inspired by allforone56's awesome Mama Luigi & Youtube Poop Allstars Racing. This shall be similar, but I will have some different characters, such as Castlevania characters and the like. But I will have some racers from his story.

Chapter 1: Opening

And now here they are, the most daredevil group of parodied drivers to whirl their wheels in the Wacky Races. Competing for the greatest prize know to man and woman, all the money, recognition and dinner you can imagine.

The cars are approaching the starting line, first is the ROB(Rondo Of Blood) Car driven by Richter Belmont and Maria Renard.

Next is Alucard in the Alucart Mobile.

Here's the King in his Dinner Car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Amy Rose, in her Rose Car.

In that cool Octocar, we have Link

Next we have M. Bison in his Buffalo Charger.

I feel a song coming on for the next racer, "Dadadada, Super Fighting Robot... MEGA MAN!" in his Fast Funkster.

His full name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik, and he has the Eggmobile.

The Rupees Guzzler drove by Morshu.

I.M. Meen in the Baddie-Baddie.

And right on their tail is Sonic and Yugi in the Deepercut Driver.

In the Retro Racer, we find the Happy Video Game Nerd.

In the Obviously Oblivious, we find Ema Skye in her Ace Idiot self.

Behind her is the OBJECTIONable Racer with Phoenix Wright.

Following him is the G.C.I.K.(Greatest Car In Koridai) with Gannon.

On the Motor Carpet, we have Gwonam.

And sneaking along last, is that Vampire Wheeler with Dracula.

And away they go on the way-out Wacky Races.


	2. Chapter 2

Race 1: Dr. Wily's Castle

Hi there, Wacky fans, the racers are under starters orders, and we shall go through Wily's Castle, first, we shall go through the labs, then the computer hub, followed by a race through Wily's robot factory, then we race through the long upwards tunnel, to the finish line at the cosmic observation platform.

And away they go!

The Baddie-Baddie takes an early lead with the Eggmobile in 2nd, and in 3rd we find the ROB Car.

Robotnik: Why am I in 2nd place? Why am I behind that dumb magician? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Either way, the Fast Funkster is competing for 4th place with the Deepercutt Driver. Mega Man fires his Mega Buster, but misses. And wait, what's this, Yugi's necklace is glowing.

Yugi had transformed into Knuckles, and he punches the Fast Funkster off the track. Say, where's Dracula?

(In the Alchemy labs)

Dracula: By pouring this formula into the Vampire Wheeler, I can make it boost through these areas.

Say, this might work.

Dracula: Hahahahaha! Isn't it delightful?(Pours formula)

Let's see what happens.

The Vampire Wheeler isn't moving.

Dracula: What's the matter? (Kicks Vampire Wheeler)

I wouldn't do tha...

(Explosion)

Too late. But let's get back to the race. And the ROB Car has took the lead, and the Baddie-Baddie has fallen well behind. How?

Richter: Let's just say you don't want to feel my unbridled wrath. (Shows whip)

Right, we get the idea. And it looks like while we were talking with Dracula, the Fast Funkster has moved into 2nd.

Mega Man: What did you expect? I know this place like the back of my hand.

Also, in 3rd, we find Alucard in his Alucart mobile, but not for long if the Dinner Car can have any say. And what is the King up to, he's... flooding the labs?

King: Enough! (Turns Dinner Car into a boat) My ship sails in the morning, I wonder what's for DINNER?

The ROB Car sinks like a stone, Alucard puts on his Snorkel, Amy unfortunately sinks, The Octocar, being loaded with rocks, gets nowhere, Bison actives Psycho Power to float above the water, Mega Man activates the Rush Marine and sails under the water, The Eggmobile simply flies, down goes the Rupees Guzzler, Baddie-Baddie and Deepercutt Driver, The Retro Racer starts hopping across platforms like in Startropics, Ema is oblivious to the water that surrounds her, we've lost the Objectionable Racer, the G.C.I.K. fails to float, Gwonam flies over, but where's Dracula? Oh, there he is, being carried across by his best friend, Death.

Death: Wait a moment. How the hell do I carry Dracula and a car if I'm just a skeleton without any muscles or whatever?

Dracula: For the same reason you can throw a double ended scythe like a boomerang in Aria Of Sorrow. Wait, how the hell do I know that when I wasn't even in Aria?

Death: You were in AOS. You know that Graham guy.

Dracula: Well I'm in my Symphony Of The Night incarnation. Wait, then how the hell do I know about the events of Aria Of Sorrow then?

Robotnik: Shut up!

Link: NO! Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged FTW!

Happy Video Game Nerd: You do realise you're underwater?

Link: Oh, yeah. (Random aquatic mumbling)

King: Get out, nerd! (Destroys the platforms HVGN was using)

And it looks like the Happy Nerd is out of the race as we near the door to the computer hub.

(On the other side)

Dr. Wily: I might as well see if I can perform some alchemy. Better not get run over by racers. (Opens door)

And a flash flood goes right through the door and everyone can race again!

And it seems the Rupees Guzzler has rode out the wave to 1st.

Morshu: Now my trap!

And it looks like Morshu is spraying out some Lamp Oil causing the Deepercutt Driver, and G.C.I.K. to slip and crash into some computers.

Now in 2nd we have the Rose Car, and in 3rd at the moment is the Alucart Mobile. But where's the King?

(Scrolls back to laboratory)

King: Shit! I can't find the button to turn my ship back into my car.

Ema seems to be going all over the place. The race is over there you fool!

Ema: I'm completely oblivious.

Judge(sidelines): YOU LOSE THE INTERNET!

And back to the race. Alucard is now in 2nd and seems to be taking out the Alucard Sword, and what is he up to?

Yugi: This racing is a breeze, after all, we managed to get into 1st after that crash even though we never had enough time to get into this position.

(Pop)

Sonic: Why are you hitting the brakes?

Yugi: I'm not.

And the Alucart Mobile zooms by, it seems the Deepercutt Driver has a puncture. But why?

Alucard: I'm not telling. (Puts sword away)

Well, it seems obvious anyway.

Yugi: Only one way to continue. (Millennium Puzzle glows)

Sonic: What the...?

Yami Yugi: I'll get us moving.

Sonic: So you'll fix the car in that for...

Yami Yugi: NO! We'll ride a monster from a children's card game. (Summons a Blue-Eyed White Dragon)

(Meanwhile)

Richter: Maria, take down that car please. (Points at Fast Funkster)

Maria: Okay. (Throws doves)

Mega Man: !

Gannon: Only I can say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dramatically!

Guile(Sideines): !

Is this necessary? Is it funny?

Mario(Sidelines): No.

But a streak of light is about to run over the ROB Car. Is it that Blue-Eyed-White Dragon?

Bison: No, it's me using my Psycho Power to go at unnatural speeds. (Crashes into ROB Car)

Richter: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Maria: OH NO!

Julius(Sidelines): And he calls himself the strongest Belmont...

And here comes that Blue-Eyed-White Dragon!

Sonic: I think this is too slow.

Yami Yugi: Well at least I'm not adopted.

Sonic: I'm not either.

(Meanwhile)

And now the Buffalo Charger is in a fight for the lead with the Alucart Mobile.

Bison: I shall win this race.

Alucard: And how would you do that?

Bison: Psycho Crusher!

Alucard: (Uses Hi-Jump Boots)

And it looks like that miss has sent Buffalo...

Bison: (Still performing Psycho Crusher) It's Bison.

It's sent him out of the race and he's about to go out that inconveniently placed window.

Bison: (Uses Psycho Power to float in the air and head back through the window and into the car) YES! YES!

Yami Yugi: Where do his bagpipes come from anyway?

Kaiba(Sidelines): Screw the rules, he has Psycho Power.

It appears the Fast Funkster has recovered and is on the way to be first into the Robot Factory.

Mega Man: Hey, I know this place like the back of my hand, I've been through it that much.

Yami Yugi: But doesn't the layout change every Mega Man game?

Kaiba(Sidelines): Screw the rules, he has the Mega Buster.

And Mega Man is first into the Robot Factory, watch out for the Robot Masters, racers! Also, where's Dracula?

(Goes over to the Robot cloning machine)

Dracula: I shall create clones of the Robot Masters to attack those Wacky Racers.

Say, this looks promising.

Dracula: Don't say that, you'll jinx it! (Starts cloning Air Man)

Air Man clones: (Attack Dracula)

Dracula: NO! (Jumps into Vampire Wheeler)

Air Man clones: (Make tornadoes)

Dracula: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Gets hit by too many tornadoes destroying the Vampire Wheeler) Drat, drat, and triple drat!

Dracula may be down, but the Air Man clones are coming towards the racers, and more are being produced at a fast rate!

(Meanwhile)

Dr, Wily: Oh no, this is getting out of hand, I must self-destruct the Robot Factory because I can't just use my newly invented complete-shutdown button which would do the same but not endanger the racers. No way, that would be too boring.

And it looks like the mad Doctor is blowing up the Robot Factory. Let's just check the Status before seeing what happens.

The King is still trying to work out how to turn his ship back into a car back in the alchemy lab.

Ema is still oblivious to the race and going all over the place.

So, Dracula is technically in 1st despite having a broken car. Mega Man is currently in first as far as those with working cars go. Currently in 2nd is the Buffalo Charger, but the Alucart Mobile isn't far behind. In 4th at the moment is Yami Yugi and Sonic. Morshu is currently 5th, in 6th is OBJECTIONable Racer. Right behind him is the Rose Car. Next is the Eggmobile, 9th is Retro Racer, the Happy Nerd is being followed by the G.C.I.K. The Baddie-Baddie is in 11th. Next is the Rondo Of Blood Car, and look, there's that cool Octocar next. And currently last is the Motor Carpet.

So the explosion is in effect. Mega Man is worried and decides to lighten the load.

Mega Man: I'm going to lighten the load.

That's what I just said, and he throws away his helmet.

Dr. Light(Communications): Just remember if you want a new helmet, you'll have to give Roll 20 screws... Oh dear, I do hope you're all not smirking back there.

Bison: I have no more psycho power, I think I might be in trouble.

Alucard: Let's see if this works. (Summons Fairy familiar)

Fairy: (Uses the Fire Resistant potion)

Yami Yugi: Glad I summoned this dragon.

Morshu: I shall try this. (Pours Lamp Oil in car)

Phoenix Wright: Oh shi...

Amy: Oh no!

Robotnik: I shall activate my Turb-O Boost.

Sonic: Is that some kind of washing powder?

HVGN: I need to find a game with which I can escape this explosion. (Actives episode list ans selects EarthBound)

HVGN: PK FREEZE! (Uses PK Freeze)

Unfortunately, it has no effect.

Gannon: NO! It !

I.M. Meen: (Traps self in book)

Richter: Hydro Storm!

It has no effect.

Maria: Well, we're stuck.

Gwonam: SQAUDALA! (Flys away from the explosion)

Link: (Jumps onto Motor Carpet)

And so, the explosion engulfs Bison, Alucard, Phoenix Wright, Amy, HVGN, Gannon, I.M. Meen's book, the Octocar with no driver, and the ROB Car.

Mega Man continues to race with a lighter load, but it doesn't work.

The Blue-Eyed-White Dragon manages to stay ahead of the explosion, Morshu puts in too much oil and blows up the Rupees Guzzler, Robotnik also gets away. And Gwonam also escapes with Link in tow. WOAH! Only 3 of the racers survived. Wait, here's Dracula with a fixed car and outrunning the explosion and escaping!

And so, first is Dracula, who is now in the upwards tunnel, 2nd is Robotnik with his Turb-O Boost, followed by the Motor Carpet, and in 4th is Yami and Sonic.

And there's the door to the upwards tunnel, and Robotnik seems to be up to something.

Robotnik: I shall fire my PI... (Eggmobile destroyed by the Blue-Eyed-White Dragon) I hate that hedge-pig!

Yami Yugi: Um, I told the Dragon to breathe fire. (Enters door)

Gwonam: Serves you right! (Goes through door)

And now the explosion comes to rest, and Alucard survived by using his Fire Resist potion. The rest have been knocked unconscious by the explosion. And Alucard goes on through.

And now we're going up through the tunnel, Dracula is in first, and here's Yami Yugi and Sonic coming through in 2nd. And Alucard is going very finely up the super-gravity wall, and Gwonam, still not knowing of Link, is flying on up through.

Dracula: Time to give those Wacky Racers something! (Throws meteor)

And now Alucard has got ahead of Yami Yugi and Sonic. And Alucard has seen the meteor.

Alucard: I must defend myself and those behind me. (Holds up Alucard Shield)

And the meteor is... reflected?

Alucard: What?

And now Gwonam has took 3rd and is closing in on Alucard!

And Dracula is near the end!

Dracula: The observation platform is within my sights, it looks like I'm the winner of this... (Hit by meteor) NO! This cannot be! (Falls off super-gravity wall) !

Gwonam: It is written, I shall win this ra... (Hit by Dracula) AAAAHHHHHH!

Dracula: Did you check the unabridged version of that writing?

And Yami Yugi steers his Blue-Eyed-White Dragon out of the way.

And the finish line is near, and it shall be close, first is the Alucart Mobile, wait a moment, it's the Deepercutt team, no, Alucard, no, Yami Yugi and Sonic, and the winner, is... it's... ALUCARD!

The winner is Alucard, next is Yami Yugi and Sonic, but this race won't end until there is a third racer across.

And at the bottom, a crash landing has just took place, Dracula is now faced with the task of putting his car back together starting with the chassis, and Gwonam has learned of Link's cheating, so Gwonam refuses to race due to the fact he carried another racer. Wait, why is Link throwing a book up into the tunnel, wait it can't be, but it is, it's I.M. Meen's magic book! And the Baddie-Baddie has left it, and is racing up, and our third place finisher is the Baddie-Baddie.

It's official, Alucard is the winner, Yami Yugi and Sonic are second, and I.M. Meen comes in third.

Nobody else can finish, but don't worry, they'll be back in the next race.


	3. Chapter 3

Race 2: Castlevania

(In the office of the race commissioner)

Trialman: I'm sorry, Phoenix & Ema, but you just don't fit.

Phoenix: Why do you hate me?

Trialman: I don't, you two just aren't interesting enough for this. All Ema does is go all over the place stating she's completely oblivious. It just gets stale, she does nothing else. Phoenix, you are just too normal for this, I have had a meeting, and we decided that you aren't wacky enough for the Wacky Races.

Phoenix: NO! Don't throw me out!

Ema: I'm completely oblivious!

Trialman: Sorry, but it is called, Wacky Races, not Lawyer Races. I'm sorry, but that's how it goes.

Phoenix: Humph! (Walks out)

Ema: I'm completely...

Trialman: I've had enough! THROW HER OUT! I NEVER WANT TO HEAR THAT ON THESE TRACKS AGAIN!

(Franziska von Karma walks in)

Franziska: You called for security?

Trialman: Yes, I did! Get Ema Skye out of here! I have fired her from the tournament!

Franziska: A pleasure. (Whips Ema)

Ema: I'm completely oblivious!

Franziska: (Growls) THAT... IS... IT! (Picks up Ema and throws her out the window)

Trialman: Perfect.

Franziska: Expect no less when I'm around. I also see Mr. Phoenix Wright leaving, he seemed annoyed.

Trialman: I fired him too, he wasn't wacky enough. Ema was fired because she's just annoying.

Franziska: I see.

Trialman: Well, I'd better go down to the tracks and inform the racers about this.

(In forests just outside the castle)

Trialman: Racers, I am sorry(not really) to inform you about the firing of two of our racers, we have removed Ema Skye and Phoenix Wright. Instead we shall now have, in the Doomcar, the Koopalings, and in The Marvelous Queen, we have Fang The Sniper!

Racers: (Mumbling)

Trialman: SILENCE! This race is in Metroidvania style, so I won't tell you the route, you'll have to work your way to the throne room. Good luck, and go!

(Everyone zooms off before the newcomers arrive)

Lemmy: Are we early? I can't see anyone here.

Fang: I will find those jewels once the other racers arrive and we head off.

Trialman: Um, they just went off without you.

Wendy: THEY DARE?

(Amy stretches head back)

Amy: Yes, we very definitely would dare.

Ludwig: After them!

(Doomcar and Marvelous Queen leave)

And Alucard, Richter and Maria, Dracula, Link, Bison and Gannon are in quickly as the drawbridge begins to close. Morshu uses a bomb to propel himself in. The Rose Car's brakes fail and falls into the moat.

Trialman: Remind me to boot her out later. She's not doing anything to contribute to the race.

Megaman bounces in with the Rush Coil! HVGN calls Sparkster from Rocket Knight Adventures to carry him in just before the bridge closes.

Sonic: Now what?

Yugi: What else? We use a monster from a children's card game.

Sonic: What's with you and that children's card game?

Yugi: I like that children's card game! (Summons a Phoenix) This will carry us in!

Robotnik flies in, as do the Koopalings.

Gwonam: SQUADALA! I AM OFF! (Flies in)

I.M. Meen goes into the book and Fang follows, Meen's servants throw it over the castle walls.

I.M. Meen: I will stop those goodie-goodies!

Fang: The treasure shall be mine.

And Bison takes the lead with a good charge!

Bison: YES! YES!

But it seems Chun-Li has come for more reasons than to watch.

Chun-Li: (Performs a flying kick) MONSTER! You killed my...

Bison: (Blocks with Psycho Power) Yes, yes. I killed your father. What is it with you women anyway? I killed my father too, and you don't hear me whining about it! (Throws Chun-Li away)

Chun-Li: Get back here.

Guile(Sidelines): Go...

Chun-Li: How many times must I tell you I'm a woman?

Guile: I was going to say, "Go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich!"

Chun-Li: Stop being sexist!

I think we'll leave that fight alone and progress ahead. And Dracula has took the lead by going straight to the top of the tower. And Alucard has took second by doing the same. Both used bat forms.

(In the Alchemy Lab)

Darcula: And now I'll release a herd of Wargs. (Laughs)

Looks like a good plan.

(Wargs are wiped out by Alucard)

Dracula: Whoops, I have an appointment at the clock tower. See you.

Alucard: Get back here!

And now Yugi and Sonic have arrived.

Sonic: There goes Dracula.

Yugi: I'll get us ahead. (Transforms)

Alucard: WHAT? Did he just hit hyper-puberty?

Yami Yugi: No. I'm just now better at a children's card game. (Chases Dracula using a monster from a children's card game)

And now for the current standings. Dracula has took the lead, and the Deepercutt Driver is now in 2nd. Alucard has started moving again, and is in 3rd. Bison is in 4th at the moment.

Bison: YES! YES!

The ROB Car is in 5th at the moment. There is a fight for 6th going on between Link and Gannon. In 8th, we have Mega Man and 9th is Fang.

Fang: Not for long. (Shoots Fast Funkster with pop gun)

And the Fast Funkster is falling down the stairs, that will slow him down a bit.

Well, Fang is now 8th and Mega Man 10th, with HVGN in 9th. I.M. Meen in 11th. In 12th are the Koopalings. Morshu has snagged 13th, being followed closely by Robotnik, and sneaking along last is the Motor Carpet with Gwonam.

Gwonam: Not for long. (Somersaults into a speed burst) SQAUDALA! WE ARE OFF!

And the racers up until 5th are left spinning except for Mega Man as he was down the stairs, and he uses this to move up to 6th, he's right behind Gwonam.

Meanwhile, M. Bison smashes through a wall of wood. Behind the wall is a teleporter. And it takes Buffalo...

Bison: I don't see how that's funny.

...it takes Bison to the center of the castle, but he won't get to the throne room so easily. Not when there's a broken flight of stairs.

Bison: No worries. (Carries car up with Psycho Power)

And it's working. But now it's not going so well.

Bison: Easy. (Jumps out of car) PSYCHO CRUSHER! (Gets into the tower)

You know that you can't walk across the line?

Bison: Yes, this is why I prepared myself. (Blows out a candelabra and takes it)

What are you up to?

Bison: Something simple. (Uses Psycho Power to use the candelabra as a broomstick)

And he is using at least some form of locomotion, so his crossing the finish line counts. M. Bison wins!

Bison: OF COURSE!

Meanwhile, Dracula has used a shortcut in the Alchemy Lab to get to the Royal Chapel. Alucard follows using the Jewel Of Open, and Richter gets through for no apparent reason.

Maria: It happened in his mode in Symphony Of The Night.

Well, I can't argue that.

Meanwhile, Gannon has gotten of the rest of the pack and is in the Marble Gallery and tearing up the area, he goes so fast he is now at the Tower of Mist and is climbing. Meanwhile, at the Alchemy Lab's shortcut, Sonic breaks through by pushing the Deepercutt Driver at speeds faster than sound through the door.

Yami Yugi: Why didn't you let use a children's card game strategy to enter it?

Sonic: Shut up about your children's card game, that's about as real as Mai Valentine's boobs.

Mai Valentine(Sidelines): My breasts are not fake!

Everyone: Riiigggghhhhttttt.

Tristan(Sidelines): I don't believe you!

And Dracula's speed has took him to the center of the castle, being closely followed by Alucard, and the ROB Car. And Gannon has found a shortcut that takes him to the center. And Gannon and Dracula are planning to work together to get to the tower. But it seems another fighter is here for more reason than to watch.

Cammy: You two will never win.

Dracula: Just try and stop us!

Cammy: SPIRAL ARROW (Attacks with Spiral Arrow)

Dracula: NO! THIS CANNOT BE!

Cammy: CANON SPIKE (Kicks Dracula and Gannon into the air)

Dracula: AAAHHHHHHH! (Disappears as a star)

Gannon: NO! NOT INTO THE PIT! IT BURRRNNNNNSSSSSSSSSS! (Lands in moat)

Richter: And thus, we arrive. And I have a great solution to the stair case.

Maria: What brilliant plan do you have this time, genius?

Richter: Tie some rope around my belt, and the car.

Maria: Okay. (Does so)

Richter: Hold on tight. SHORYUKEN! (Jump punches to the tower)

Maria: Woah, that was actually pretty good.

Richter: Now, let's finish.

And the ROB Car is in... 3rd? And Alucard 2nd?

Alucard: I morphed into a bat and flew in here.

Let's see a replay of that.

(Replay shows bat Alucard transform back, then cross the finish line)

Well, it counts since he did transform back. So Alucard is officially 2nd place. With Richter and Maria in 3rd.

King: Hey, what about me? Why wasn't I in this race?

Trialman: I forgot, blame my dumb memory. I'll have you back in chapter 5.

King: Okay... WAIT! CHAPTER 5?

Trialman: I'm throwing Amy out, chapter 4 will be pretty much job interviews for her replacement.

King: Why throw her out?

Trialman: She isn't doing anything to make this funny, and I consider such racers a waste of space.


	4. Chapter 4

**Search for a new racer: Job Interviews**

Trialman: Hello, and today, there is no race, but we are now searching for a new racer with some interviews. And here is the first jerk... I mean, interviewee. So, tell us a bit about yourself.

Aeon: My name is Aeon, I am a time god, I am very interested in these high speed races, as they really test the power of time.

Trialman: I am sorry, but your time powers would be unfair on those without such power.

Aeon: I see, you are looking out for the other racers. (Leaves)

Trialman: NEXT!

Ema: I'm completely...

Trialman: NO! THROW HER OUT! OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT!

Franziska: With pleasure. (Throws Ema out the window)

Trialman: NEXT!

Lickboot: We've got to have... MONEH!

Mrs. Figg: Money is such a beautiful word!

Trialman: Sorry, but the movie you were in sucked.

Lickboot: HEY! OBJECTION!

Trialman: THROW 'EM OUT!

Franziska: (Whips them until they leave)

Ushrom: Of course I'm on your...

Trialman: We already have enough CD-i characters.

Militron: Worthless Korean! YOU MUST DIE!

Trialman: We already have enough of your kind. And we don't accept racists.

Militron: What?

Trialman: It's Wacky Races, not Wacky Racists.

Militron: DIE!

Trialman: (Throws bomb and blows up Militron's armour)

Militron: Oh my goodness, this is awful! (Leaves)

Hecktad: Ready? Am I here? Or here? Or...

Trialman: (Stabs Hecktad in the beard)

Hecktad: You... killed me! (Melts)

Trialman: GOOD! (Checks watch) LUNCH!

(Everyone runs out of the building)

(Later)

Trialman: So, who's next?

Franziska: Mr. Seto Kaiba, the commissioner is ready for you now.

Kaiba: (Walks in and takes a seat)

Trialman: So Mr. Kaiba, I hear you are interested.

Kaiba: Of course.

Trialman: Well, at the moment, you are fair game, nothing that makes me want to throw you out, as you are rather funny.

Kaiba: So, what would you like to ask me?

Trialman: What are your thoughts on that currently infamous My Little Pony show?

Kaiba: You mean that Friendship is Magic one?

Trialman: Yes.

Kaiba: Well... IT IS ABSOLUTLY HORRIBLE! (Knocks over cup of water) I HATE IT'S GUTS! WHOEVER LIKES IT MUST BE INSANE! THIS SHOW SHOULD BE OUTLAWED! (Kicks desk so hard the drawer falls out) I'D RATHER PLAY A CARD GAME ON A MOTORCYCLE! (Stops ranting and starts to catch his breath)

Trialman: Okay, screw the rest of the interview! You're in!

Kaiba: Great! Now I can represent Kaiba Corp. in these races.

(Screen shows a picture of Kaiba with his name, and a caption appears underneath saying, "Screw the rules! I have money!")


	5. Chapter 5

Race 3: Adventures Of Super Mario Bros. 3

Hello everybody, and welcome to our most unique race yet! Today, 2 racers will be placed in each land, and the loser of each one is eliminated from this race. Until the end, when the remaining racers will go through all 8 lands to find the true winner. As Bison won last time, he doesn't compete until the full length race.

Firstup, in Grass Land, it's Alucard Vs. Robotnik

(Street Fighter IV style match-up screen showing Alucard and Robotnik.)

And they're already off to a flying start. They are neck-and-neck.

Robotnik: I shall fire my PIN... ARRGGGHHHH!

Alucard: You'd better watch out for this sword. (Swipes Robotnik off the course)

Robotnik: I... HATE... THAT DHAMPIR!

And it looks like a clear road. Alucard just barely makes a tight turn. The finish line is fast approaching his sights, but Robotnik is back for more.

Robotnik: GET A LOAD OF THIS! (Fires a huge LAZEH!)

And it seems to have caught Alucard.

Robotnik: YES!... YES!

Bison(Sidelines): That's my line! (Uses psycho power to repair the Alucart Mobile and get it across the finish line)

Robotnik: I... HATE... THAT DICTATOR!

And Alucard wins!

So, what's next? Why it's Morshu Vs. The King, in Desert Land.

(Castlevania Judgement style match-up screen showing the King and Morshu)

And they are off through the boiling sun of Desert Land

Morshu: Lamp Oil! (Pours Lamp Oil in the engine which allows him to boost)

King: OAH! SHIPS!

Morshu: I am now going to... (Rupees Guzzler explodes)

It's seems the Lamp Oil combined with the desert sun overheated his engine.

King: Sorry, Morshu, I can't give positions, come back when you're a little, MMMMMM richer!

Morshu: What?

King: So you can afford a better engine that doesn't overheat so easy. (Crosses the finish line)

And the King in his Dinner Car wins.

King: OAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Next, we go to Water Land with Mega Man Vs. Kaiba!

(Street Fighter II match up screen)

And Mega Man has an advantage since the Fast Funkster can turn into the Rush Marine, which it does as they reach the first body of water, but Kaiba takes a shortcut over the land by paying the guard.

A look at our radar scope shows Mega Man is manoeuvring around the island Kaiba is on. And Kaiba is approaching a bridge, but it's raising.

Kaiba: SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE MONEH! (Jumps the bridge and gets to the next island)

Mega Man: That's it! I will...

(Gutman's Ass appears!)

Mega Man: (Clenches fist)

Kaiba: Looks like I win this one! (Crosses finish line)

Kaiba wins!

HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!

And Kaiba is attacked by fish!

Kaiba: I don't want to do this, but I must. (Whacks all the fish with his suitcase of money)

And Kaiba is still fine for the next race.

Kaiba(Singing): YOU JUST GOT PWNED, FTW! Now you're dead, you're dead 'cause we killed you, we took you by surprise! We just saw you roaming the forest and said let's kill those guys. You're a squirrel who somehow has money and sometimes swords and shields. I don't care if you're a cute bunny, I'll kick your ass for realz! Let's all dance right next to your corpses, we're happy that you're dead, now we might play chess on your carcass, or soccer with your head! La la la, you're dead, la la la la, we killed you, la la la, no remorse, la la la la la la la la la la la la! YEAAAH!

Here's Giant Land with the Deepercutt Driver facing off with The Octocar.

Yugi: Ha, I'm in the lead.

Link: Take this! (Shoots Deepercutt Driver with machine gun that shoots rocks)

Sonic: Damn it, Yugi, so what card are you usi...

Yugi: I will not. SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME REPAIR!

So awesome they teleport past the finish line!

We now transfer to Sky Land with the ROB Car and HVGN!

HVGN: I'll boost through. (Summons Sparkster to boost him through)

Richter: SHORYUKEN! (Uppercuts to the clouds and past the finish line)

Below the clouds we have Ice Land with an interesting match-up, Fang The Sniper vs. The Doomcar.

Lemmy: I know this place by heart. (Shows route to Koopalings)

Fang: I'll win, because there's treasure if I win.

And they're off, Fang uses his hover feature. The Koopalings use the route that Lemmy knows.

Fang: I won't use my pop gun since I don't know what way to go, and I'm following them.

Shortly, they reach a tight turn to the finish line. The Doomcar slips on the ice and files off course, despite the tank like threads.

Ludwig: I told you we shouldn't have built such a heavy car, but would you listen?

Roy: Blame Morton, it was his idea.

Morton: NO! It most definitely wasn't my brain that made this idea, it was Roy, as he is so fat, so he thinks heavy means good, which it isn't, since this incident was caused by a very heavy car, which is the one we're driving, built by Ludwig, as he was best for the job, since he builds everything for us, that is to say, me, himself, our brothers and sister, and of course, King Dad, who is prioritized above all others, as he is our father, and king, I told Roy this was a bad idea, but he didn't listen, being the fattie he is, he thought a heavy car was a good car and... (voice fades into distance with some slapping sounds)

And Fang wins this one.

At Pipe Land, there is another race starting, this one is I.M. Meen against Gwonam

Meen: Me FTW!

Gwonam: Sqaudala, we are off! (Performs a false start)

DISQUALIFIED! Meen wins!

And in Dark Land, there is a face-off between the G.C.I.K. and Vampire Wheeler.

Gannon: YOU MUST DIE!

Dracula: HAVE AT YOU!

And they're off!

And what a race, Gannon shoots lightning, and misses, Dracula shoots fireballs causing 211 damage to Gannon, Gannon performs his super ugly close-up, Dracula is unintimidated, and shoots special meteors designed for point blank range, causing OVER 9000 damage, and Gannon goes into the pit! DRACULA WINS!

Next is Round 2. First is a return to Grass Land for Dracula facing Fang

Fang: Activate speed mode! (Boosts off)

Dracula: HERE IS TRUE POWER! (Throws meteors)

Fang: Get out! (Shoots pop gun and gets rid of the meteors)

Dracula: NO! THIS CANNOT BE! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Fang wins this one!

In Desert Land, we meet Alucard, prepared to battle Richter & Maria

Richter: HYDRO STORM!

And the rain of Holy Water keeps Richter & Maria hydrated, and the car's engine cool.

Mr. Volcano: Why not try new hydrating Volvic Revive?

Richter: Volvic Revive doesn't help a car's engine.

Maria: You know we've fell behind? (Points at the Alucart Mobile moving into the distance)

Richter: Oh. (Zooms off at high speeds)

Alucard: Looks like I'll... (Hit by Hydro Storm) !

Richter: Sorry about that.

So Richter & Maria win this time.

Now we go to the contrasting Water Land for our mystery match up.

(Deepercutt Mobile drives to the start line)

Yugi: I wonder who our next opponent is.

Sonic: Don't ask me. I'm not the one who organizes these.

Yugi: When did I say such a thing?

Sonic: You didn't.

Yugi: Then why say that?

Sonic: Don't ask me.

Yugi: THAT'S... IT!

Sonic: What? (Shields eyes from bright light)

Yami Yugi: YUGI! YOU SON OF A (BLEEP)ING (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)! I'M GOING TO TEAR OFF YOUR (BLEEP) AND SHOVE THEM RIGHT UP YOUR (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP) AND THEN (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(B LEEP) ON YOUR (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP) WITH (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP) IN THE (BLEEP)(BLEEP) AND (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(B LEEP) YOUR (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP), SO THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO (BLEEP) SIDEWAYS! (BLEEP)!

Kaiba: I've been waiting for you.

Sonic: What, all that rude nonsense and you're not going to acknowledge it?

Kaiba & Yami(Simultaneously): That's right.

Sonic: When are we racing?

Yami Yugi: Who said we were racing? Kaiba, I challenge you to a children's card game!

Kaiba: Of course. I'll win this time.

Yami Yugi: My first card, The Dark Magician.

Kaiba: I use my Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

Yami Yugi: Wait, didn't I use that in the other races?

Kaiba: No, that was the cheap copy, Blue-Eyed-White Dragon.

Yami Yugi: And what if I used the real one?

Kaiba: That trait would have been stolen from you with my arrival.

Yami Yugi: I use the Cyber-Commander.

Kaiba: Well, I use my Objection card. With this, the next attack on me will backfire as I object to it.

Yami Yugi: Dark Magician, somehow make your attack on Kaiba from the opposite end of the field.

Kaiba: Didn't you hear what I just said?

Yami Yugi: Yes, oh and look, Mokuba is drowning over there.

Kaiba: Where? (Gets hit with his back turned, so he doesn't get a chance to object)

Yami Yugi: See, I told you I'd get around that.

Kaiba: When?

Yami Yugi: Unabridged edition.

Kaiba: Well, try this. (Pulls up special card)

Yami Yugi: What is this?

Kaiba: It's an empty card, but I will absorb your friend into it.

(Blank card pulls Sonic in and it becomes a Sonic card)

Yami Yugi: Holy Ra! It does work! Well, we fought a lot anyway, so it isn't such a huge loss.

Tea(Sidelines): How could you let that happen to your friend? I'm ashamed of you Pharaoh, especially since you don't even care, do I look like I'll marry you now?

Yami Yugi: Since when were we engaged?

Tea: Never.

Yami Yugi: Exactly, we never planned to be married.

Kaiba: What's your next move?

Yami Yugi: I play the forbidden card.

Kaiba: How is it forbidden?

Yami Yugi: The description has a very graphic message, let me read it out. "TEAR OFF YOUR OPPONENTS (BLEEP) AND SHOVE THEM RIGHT UP THEIR (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP) AND THEN (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(B LEEP) ON THEIR (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP) WITH (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP) IN THE (BLEEP)(BLEEP) AND (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP)(B LEEP) YOUR (BLEEP)(BLEEP)(BLEEP), SO THEN THEY'LL HAVE TO (BLEEP) SIDEWAYS!"

Kaiba: What the (BLEEP)?

Yami Yugi: Now I'll just tear off your (BLEEP)...

Kaiba: Heh heh heh! Afraid I don't have one.

Yami Yugi: How in the name of Ra does this happen?

(Forbidden Card evaporates)

Kaiba: I knew it wouldn't work, as I have no (BLEEP). My next card is Airman.

(I Can't Defeat Airman starts playing)

Yami Yugi: No, how can this be?

Kaiba: You seriously thought I would hold back?

Yami Yugi: Well I play Everything That Ever Existed!

Kaiba: My holograms can't simulate that, so your card is useless!

Yami Yugi: NO! WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Kaiba: You're losing at a children's card game, that's what! Airman, destroy all that stands in your

way!

(Airman destroys the Dark Magician and Cyber-Commander)

Kaiba: What will you do now?

Yami Yugi: Prepare yourself, I play Ike!

Kaiba: What? How did you get your hands on such a card?

Yami Yugi: It was a prize at some tournament, why there are official tournaments for children's card games I'll never know. Ike, destroy his Airman card.

(Ike uses Great Aether on Airman)

Kaiba: Heh heh heh. (Smiles)

(+10000 dead puppies)

Yami Yugi: Well, that's your Airman almost...

(Ike falls into a pit with the final strike)

Yami Yugi: How the...

Kaiba: I played a card allowed me to make pits while you were too busy watching your card.

Yami Yugi: CHEAT!

Kaiba: Screw the rules, I have money!

Yami Yugi: Take this. I play my Ryu card.

Kaiba: You pronounced it wrong, the card doesn't work. It's **Re**-You, not **Rye**-You

Yami Yugi: Why? WHY? ?

Kaiba: I don't care. I active Reborn The Monster to resurrect Airman.

Yami Yugi: I use the combine spell card, with it, I can combine my next 2 monsters. I have Final Kefka, and The King.

Kaiba: You're teleporting them on my conveniently placed trap card which is only there because the plot demands it, since I never played it. It's the insta-death trap.

(The unholy combination of Kefka & The King is destroyed before anyone can see it.)

Yami Yugi: CHEAT!

Kaiba: As I said before, SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE MONEY!

Yami Yugi: Well, I can cheat too, I play the multi-turn card, which allows me to perform actions 3 times in a row. I use Reborn the Monster to bring Ike back. I can recycle it with the multi-turn in play, so I bring back Kefka & The King, except they're separate due to the Reborn The Monster effect. Now I use my Holy Water trap card, any monster who steps on it is burned, no matter who set it, it is also most effective on dark cards, it also prevents the card game from becoming a Shadow Game.

Kaiba: What's a Shadow Game again?

Yami Yugi: It's exactly like a children's card game, except the loser loses his soul.

Kaiba: Oh, right. But either way. Airman, attack all that stands in your way.

Yami Yugi: Ike, watch out!

(Ike counters every tornado that reaches him, the King is lucky enough that all tornadoes veer round him, Kefka is too powerful to be killed by them, but he's still heavily damaged)

Yami Yugi: I use my fall-back spell, which allows me to remove a monster for 2 turns to heal, I take Kefka back to heal.

Kaiba: Anti-Spell, I negate your spell, and since Kefka is off the field, he's considered dead!

Yami Yugi: (Growls) ONCE AND FOR ALL, I'M GOING TO...

Kaiba: NOT SO FAST! Just take your turn.

Yami Yugi: I now use Dinner. All my monsters are healed.

Kaiba; Reverse Psychology! I reverse the effects, damaging all your monsters instead.

Yami Yugi: Copycat! I can peform what you just did, so I use reverse psychology on itself, Dinner heals them.

Kaiba: Anti-Spell! I negate Copycat's effects.

Yami Yugi: Thievery! I steal your Anti-Spell and negate your Anti-Spell, my monsters are healed.

Kaiba: Oh yeah, I use... um, I don't have one of the needed cards. Instead, I play my Sonic card.

Yami Yugi: Oh yeah? I have the Item 1, every one of my monsters is raised out of the way to avoid whatever you do next.

Kaiba: 2 can play at that game, Airman, go for it.

(Airman flies up and attacks)

Yami Yugi: Well, I'm going to cheat!

(Yami's monsters lower back to the ground)

Kaiba: This is what I had planned for!

(Sonic zooms in to attack)

Yami Yugi: HEY! That's against the rules!

Kaiba: Screw the rules! I have money!

Yami Yugi: Wait, he's stood on my trap card! And this brings up another effect, it breaks people out of hypnotism.

Kaiba: But I summoned him, so it doesn't work.

Yami Yugi: Yeah, well it killed him anyway.

Kaiba: Huh? (Looks at Sonic disappearing)

Yami Yugi: I play my Arena Change spell card! It allows me to change the arena's appearance and it's properties! I change it to Twinkle Park!

Kaiba: And the property change is?

Yami Yugi: It is now possible for a roller-coaster to run over your cards, and the dodgems can attack you directly.

(5 Dodgems appear)

Yami Yugi: Think of them like neutral cards, they move once every two turns, they make their first move now.

(Dodgems move)

Yami Yugi: Hmm, 2 went for me, 2 for you, and 1 stayed.

Kaiba: Airman, destroy all!

(Airman attacks and misses)

Yami Yugi: Ike, don't let anything through!

(Ike prepares to counter)

EVENT TIME!

Kaiba: What?

Yami Yugi: One of the events will happen before you take your turn.

(A roller-coaster runs over Airman, destroying him)

Kaiba: WHAT? (Checks to find he has no card) Well, I have no cards to play.

Yami Yugi: I guess this makes me the winner!

Kaiba: Okay, so you won, no need to...

Yami Yugi: YOU JUST GOT PWNED, FTW! Now you're dead, you're dead 'cause we killed you, we took you by surprise! We just saw you roaming the forest and said let's kill those guys. You're a squirrel who somehow has money and sometimes swords and shields. I don't care if you're a cute bunny, I'll kick your ass for realz! Let's all dance right next to your corpses, we're happy that you're dead, now we might play chess on your carcass, or soccer with your head! La la la, you're dead, la la la la, we killed you, la la la, no remorse, la la la la la la la la la la la la! YEAAAH!

King Card: OAH HAHAHAHAHAHUHUHUHAHAHA!

Ike Card: You'll get no sympathy from me!

Joey(Sidelines): Nyeh, Yug, that didn't look like Duel Monsters.

Yami Yugi: I know, we never said which children's card game it was.

Kaiba: (Growls) Hey, you over there! (Points at Trialman writing the story) Rewrite this scene so we actually play the proper children's card game!

Trialman: Sorry, no time. I'm busy writing an MLP fanfic.

Kaiba: WAIT! But didn't you hire me over hating it?

Trialman: Yes, I wanted a more contrasting cast. Oh, and by the way, you took up all the time with that card game.

Kaiba: What time?

Trialman: All of the timeslot for the Wacky Races. Instead, we'll use super-advanced computers to work out a winner.

(One very realistic simulation later)

Trialman: So, Richter and Maria, and The King would have reached the finals with Bison. And The King would have attempted to become a god, but is beaten by Maria's doves. So, all in all, the Rondo Of Blood Car would have won, with Bison 2nd, and The King 3rd.

Kaiba: I see.

Yami Yugi: Well, I'm off now. (Gets into car and begins to leave)

Kaiba: Wait, what about your friend? (Holds up Sonic card)

Yami Yugi: Eh, he was getting to be a pain anyway. (Drives off)

Kaiba: Hmm, so does this mean that I get to keep this card?

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Mokuba: It sure is nice to know my big brother is in the races.

Trialman: Yes it is.

Mokuba: Also, can I be in the fanfic?

Trialman: You do know that's a My Little Pony fanfic?

Mokuba: No, I meant can I be in this fanfic?

Everyone: SHUT UP, MOKUBA!

Mokuba: Ow, that hurt my ears. Let me see here.(Turns to monitor with fanfic being wrote) "Second slumber party"? "First succeeded"? "...sleep in double bed for once"?

Trialman: I think you've gave enough away.

Mokuba: Considering how much you love shipping, I'm guessing you're writing a shipping fic.

Trialman: Well, I'll let that slip out. But not the pairing, try and guess for yourselves. (Wily eyebrow dance to show I'm talking to the readers) AND NO, IT WILL NOT BE AN M-RATED FANFIC, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THE DOUBLE BED LINE IMPILES IT!

Mokuba: I heard you were at a wedding on Friday.

Trialman: Yes, I was, the wedding of Dypo and Evolina. Pity I didn't get to stay at the 5-star hotel.

Mokuba: Why not?

Trialman: Because some fangirls arrived and I jumped into the nearest taxi to escape.

Mokuba: Why would the fangirls chase you?

Trialman: Because that's what fangirls do.

Mokuba: And what type of names are Dypo and Evolina?

Trialman: It's their Ace Attorney Online usernames, it's an e-marriage.

Mokuba: I didn't know you could get married online.

Trialman: They are not legally married you idiot. I'll end this before it turns into a Q&A session.

(END OF CHEE-AP-TERRR!)

A/N: Yep, Chuggaconroy reference just there. Also, I finally got to see Luna Eclipsed, and yes, I also found it to be a great episode, but I didn't see it as good as other fans did, although I did watch it at midnight, so it might have been because I was sleepy and couldn't completely concentrate on it. And, yes, I will be writing that fanfic, but I haven't just got started on it, but I have the basic concepts in my mind, and those lines Mokuba read do give hints to it. See you later fellow Wacky fans and bronies alike.


	6. Chapter 6

Race 4: The World

Hello and welcome to our latest race, it's around the world this time, we shall visit many different countries, starting right here...

Bandit Keith(Sidelines): ...IN AMERICA!

To be precise, Deznay What Studios. A huge crowd has gathered for this event. We shall race through North and South America, then to the Antarctic, we then go to Australia, we'll then go to South Africa, many African countries I'm too lazy to look up the names of, then Egypt, followed by more African countries which I'm too lazy to learn the names of, then we go to Japan, after which we'll pass through Korea...

Militron(Sidelines): Worthless Koreans! They must be hardened with fire!

Then we go through China, followed by a race to Europe, including Germany, France, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland, after which we end up back where we started...

Bandit Keith: ...IN AMERICA!

And the racers are under starters orders, wait, where are Yugi and Kaiba?

(Garage doors open)

Mokuba: Wait, are they on motorbikes?

They are, surely it can't be...

Yusei(Sidelines): Card games on motorcycles.

Gannon: Card games on motorcycles!

Edgeworth(Sidelines): Card games on motorcycles?

Robotnik: CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

The King: CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

Ema: I'm completely...

Franziska: CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

Duke Onkled(Sidelines): CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

Ryu(Sidelines): STREET FIGHTS ON MOTORCYCLES!

Steel Samurai(Sidelines): CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

Bandit Keith: CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES... IN AMERICA!

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash(Sidelines): CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

Mokuba: Can I be in the fanfic?

Mario(Sidelines): CARD-A GAMES ON-A MOTORCYCLES!

I think we get the idea now.

Mokuba: Can I be in the fanfic?

Shut up, Mokuba.

The countdown is beginning.

The King: (Stares down the track)

Link: I can't wait to bomb some dodongos.

Fang: Here I come prize.

3,

Richter: (Starts engine)

2,

Mega Man: Let's get dangerous.

1,

Dracula: (Throws wineglass)

GO! GO! GO!

(Racers zoom off into the background)

Rarity(Sidelines): And that upgust ruined my mane, and I worked all morning to get it just right for this race. (Sobs)

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Gwonam: SQAUDALA! WE ARE OFF!

Gannon: You dare Sqaudala past me? You must die! (Shoots lightning)

Gwonam: AAHHHHH! (Flies off course)

Oh don't worry, he'll be back, after all, it is the...

Mokuba: Can I be in the fanfic?

Gannon: Shut up, Mokuba, or else you will die!

(Swipe transition to a pair of motorcycles)

Yugi: DARK MAGICIAN GIRL!

Kaiba: BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGON!

Yugi: Move you drivers!

Kaiba: That's not a childrens trad... (Hair goes mad)OH SHI-!

(Vehicles jump out of the way like an old Disney cartoon)

Yugi: Where was I? Oh yeah, FANSERVICE!

(Toon Dark Magician Girl appears)

Kaiba: Did you just turn the hottest monster into a 5-year old girl?

Yugi: Yeah, so?

Kaiba: You have serious issues.

Yugi: I'm just a kid.

Kaiba: You're a midget, you're 15 years old!

Yugi: NO! HOW DID YOU KNOW! OF ALL THE WORST THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN, THIS IS, THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Trialman: Okay, okay! CHILL! I'll let you be in the fanfic as my co-announcer.

Mokuba: YAY! I'm in the story!

And now Dracula is taking the lead, passing by Yugi and Kaiba.

Kaiba: I use Spell Negate, now your fanservice card is deactivated.

Yugi: NO! Does this mean I have to part with Toon Dark Magician Girl?

Kaiba: Especially Toon Dark Magician Girl! That's All (of the fanservice for now) Folks.

Mokuba: So, Dracula has took the lead, and is being followed closely by Yugi and big brother, I can't tell who's the lead, but I think it's Seto.

You would be biased, wouldn't you?

Robotnik: I shall fire my invisible guns! (Fires invisible guns at Yugi and Kaiba)

Kaiba: Good thing we had prepared bullet-proof motorcycles.

(Bullets deflect off motorcycles)

Robotnik: I hate those card game obsessed morons!

Yugi: Holy Ra, you hate everything, don't you? You hate that dhampir, us, and that hedgehog.

Robotnik: Come to think of it, where is Sonic?

Kaiba: In my deck. The one I left at home.

Robotnik: You mean you don't have Sonic.

Kaiba: That's right.

Robotnik: I HATE THAT RICH KID!

Montana Max(Sidelines): HEY! LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!

Robotnik: Not you! HIM! (Points at Kaiba)

Yugi: Let's increase the tension of this duel. (Is somehow grinding his motorcycle on the rails on either side of the road)

Kaiba: You got it. (Is also grinding his motorcycle)

Yugi: Monster Reborn! And I bring back Toon Dark Magician Girl. Because it's Monster Reborn, I don't have to worry about the restrictions made by the Fanservice card. And considering the way the Fanservice card works, I can exploit loopholes for an invincible monster.

Kaiba: Not if I can help it. Graveyard Snatch! Now I can steal Fanservice from your graveyard and use it against you. Since Fanservice is on my side, and Toon Dark Magician Girl is on your side of the field, I think it's safe to say you're now using a monster that attacks you.

Yugi: SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE THE MILLENNIUM PUZZLE! I use Spell Reverse, now I can use Graveyard Snatch, and I steal all 3 of your Blue-Eyes White Dragons, then summon then, combine them into a Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon, then use the ability to destroy it and the cards I choose, I choose Fanservice and Toon Dark Magician Girl.

Kaiba: Wait, did you just steal and summon a bunch of monsters in one turn, followed by combining them and using their combined special ability?

Yugi: Yeah, so?

Kaiba: That's against the rules isn't it?

Yugi: SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE THE MILLENNIUM PUZZLE!

Bakura(Sidelines): I think we did that joke already.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Mokuba: Just look at the ratings for the show.

Trialman: Those ratings... THEY'RE OVER 9000!

(Doorbell)

Trialman: Let me get that.

(Shortly)

Trialman: We have some mail. So the envelopes are put into bigger envelopes? That was kind. Let's see, 'Fan mail', 'Junk Mail', 'Donations', 'Hate Mail', 'Children's Trading Cards'.

Mokuba: What?

Trialman: So I got children's trading cards in the mail, something wrong?

Mokuba: I was more concerned about how the 'Mail' in 'Fan mail' wasn't capitalized.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Kaiba: Now we're driving above a tunnel.

Yugi: I know. The rocky terrain really increases the card game's tension.

Kaiba: I know, it's so bumpy.

Yugi: Heeeeyyyy , thiiiisss maaakkkkeeesss myyy vvvoooiiicceee ssoooouuunnnddd sssiiilllyyyyy.

Tristan(Sidelines): Myyy Voiiice, giiiives meeee suuuuper streeenngth.

Kaiba: Heeeeyyyy, iittt'ss theee funnnnnyyyy guuuyyyy whhhoooo sayyyysssssss thheee fuuunnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyy .

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Mokuba: Hey, since when did you have that laptop?

Trialman: It was a birthday present, mum bought it so I could play Sims games, as my big computer can't run them.

Mokuba: I don't think this is a good time to play them.

Trialman: I'm not, I'm using it to watch Sisterhooves Social. Also, I figured out why I don't like the Season 2 theme so much.

Mokuba: Why?

Trialman: The singing doesn't seem to have the enthusiasm of the Season 1 theme. In fact, Rainbow Dash's "Big Adventures" line almost seems like she doesn't care. Not to say it's bad, I still like this version, and do sing along with it, but it just lacks the punch that made me love the Season 1 opening. I do like the animation changes though. I think someone should make a video with the Season 2 animation, and Season 1 theme song.

Mokuba: I see.

Trialman: Hahaha, breakfast in bed. Oh, here we go. (Singing voice) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, aahhh, MY LITTLE PONY! I used to wonder what friendship could be. Until you all shared it's magic with me. Big adventures. Tons of fun. A beautiful heart. Faithful and strong. Sharing kindness, it's an easy feat, and magic makes it all complete, yeah! My Little Pony. Did you know you're all my very best friends.

Mokuba: Uh, now you've got it in my head.

Trialman: Wait? Rarity's parents? Haha, I didn't know you could burn juice either. Huh? Her parents are going on vacation, to where? Ponyville?

Mokuba: I don't get that joke.

Trialman: Because her parents never appeared anyway, not even in the Cutie Mark Chronicles flashback to when Rarity was a filly.

Mokuba: (Is lying on floor, singing the MLP theme)

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Richter: About time we got featured in today's episode.

Alucard: But not for long. (Races past)

And Alucard is now hot on Dracula's trail.

Alucard: When will your resurrections stop?

Dracula: As long as there is evil in people's hearts, I shall return.

Alucard: Uh, that clichéd scenario again. At least the Kirby anime changed it slightly. Not mentioning it due to Episode 100 spoilers.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Tea(Sidelines): Now you're back on the road.

Yugi: I know!

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Trialman: Well, that was an amusing way to put the piece of parsley on the eggs. Unusual, but rather effective.

Mokuba: So, I'm guessing you're liking this episode.

Trialman: Of course, it seems to be getting back to how Season 1 was. Poor Rarity, the wool shrunk on her.

Mokuba: Really?

Trialman: Of course. Hey, watch your anger there girl, how was Sweetie Belle to know the wool would shrink in the sun?

Mokuba: The fact you're commenting on the episode you're watching instead of the race is annoying me.

Trialman: Sweetie Belle's only a kid you know, how does she know she's making mistakes?

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Link: Get away from me, King.

The King: After you scrub all the floors in Hyrule! (Brings out giant scrubber) Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub. (Sweeps away all the racers who get in the way)

Yugi: I play Hold It! This card allows me block your next attack and then redirect to my opponent, or choose any opposing card to destroy. It also forces you to attack.

Kaiba: Ha, you activated my trap card!

Yugi: What trap card?

Kaiba: The one that stops spells from affecting me. That is, the one that I never placed and is only there for the sake of the story. Now it gives me 5-turn spell immunity.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Mokuba: How much longer until we stop transitioning here so much?

Trialman: When I've finished Sisterhooves Social. Gee Rarity, lighten up a bit, I think the Sisterhooves Social would be rather nice if you attempted it.

Mokuba: So I'm guessing it's some kind of event.

Trialman: Yes, and wow, Sweetie Belle is really going too far. Unsister, reminds me the Adventures Of Super Mario Bros. 3 episode, Oh Brother, where Luigi debrotherized Mario.

Mokuba: So I'm guessing you like Adventures Of Super Mario Bros. 3

Trialman: Yeah, but that's not important. Nice gag about what uncouth meant. Is it just me, or does that image with Applejack and Applebloom's heads together look so cute?

Mokuba: I wouldn't know, I haven't seen it.

Trialman: Oh, wait, the characters are always cute, no wonder that part looked cute.

Mokuba: Is that all you're going to talk about?

Trialman: Of course not. I'll get back to commentating the race when I've finished the episode. (Sings part of theme song) Nice way of collecting the bruised apples. Bad luck, Sweetie Belle.

Mokuba: My god, you sure are obsessed.

Trialman: This is no time to talk about Ra or any other , just when it seems like you're accepting the help she gave, you just decide to look at the negative side of the matter again, what a pessimist. You can definitely tell this was made...

Bandit Keith: ...IN AMERICA!

Trialman: Yes, after all, they're making grape juice, with grapes as well, not lemons. What a cute sequence there.

Mokuba: Geez, could you be any more addicted to My Little Pony?

Trialman: Yes, if you actually bothered to start your fanfic instead of continuing on with the Wacky Races. Hmm, at least one mistake turned out alright. And where's the fun in asking for the sheep to herd up?

Mokuba: And how is that Unsister stuff going.

Trialman: Well, Rarity has just seen the picture Sweetie Belle used the rare diamonds for, and has seen that she was wrong to complain. She also says, "With Celestia as my witness, I shall never be sisterless again!" Also, why were you so interested?

Mokuba: No reason.

Trialman: Getting interested in what's happening for no reason? Are you becoming a brony?

Mokuba: I don't think so. After all, Seto doesn't like the show.

Trialman: Your life isn't controlled by your brother, you are an individual.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

The King: Scrub, scrub, scrub, the card games off the track.

Yugi: Good thing we had...

The King: OAH! (Scrubber suddenly flips over) SHIPS! (Gets scrubbed off the track)

Kaiba: Yeah, scrub-proof motorcycles.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Trialman: Nice twist, adopting Applejack as her big sister.

Mokuba: Let me guess, Applejack doesn't approve.

Trialman: Yeah. And Sweetie tries to perform a sister swap on them.

Mokuba: Strange, but funny.

Trialman: And Rarity has the Awkward Face like Twilight had in S1E1. And yeah, Rarity has been doing a lot of taking, but not a lot of giving. Nice metaphor on the Apple Pie.

Mokuba: I see. Where are you in the episode now?

Trialman: Just over 16 minutes in.

Mokuba: I see. So how does Sweetie Belle go with the Sisterhooves thing.

Trialman: She's given the role of Applejack's sister for a day so she can take part.

Mokuba: Do they have race music?

Trialman: Benny Hill remix, and it's different from Season 1. It doesn't sound so much like the Benny Hill theme. Also, Derpy in the audience.

Mokuba: What is your opinion on this new Benny Hill remix?

Trialman: I like more, it changes pace depending on what part of the race they're in for one. Wait, one of the racing ponies is in the audience.

Mokuba: And did they win?

Trialman: No, they came second, and Applejack was Rarity in disguise. The old switcheroo at the first mudhole.

Mokuba: Is it over yet?

Trialman: Yes, definitely the best Season 2 episode yet, it's beginning to feel like Season 1 again.

Mokuba: Anything interesting of note about the episode?

Trialman: Yes, it's the first time Twilight Sparkle didn't appear.

Mokuba: So, your thoughts on the previous Season 2 episodes?

Trialman: Well, I liked the first 2 episodes, but I preferred Nightmare Moon as the villain, I also preferred the idea of being worried for most the first episode, then the villain showing up at the end. Also, I felt Discord's form of protection was a bit clichéd. Episode 3 was good, but it didn't feel like My Little Pony, however I enjoyed it. Episode 4 was also really good, but I feel the love just spreads from Luna being in it.

Mokuba: Is it just me, or did this suddenly become a way of spreading your thoughts on My Little Pony?

Trialman: ...And magic makes it all complete, yeah!

Mokuba: Uh, ear... worm... (Starts running around) My Little Pony! My Little Pony! La, la, la, la...

Trialman: (Pulls out clipboard) Running around singing theme song. Check! (Marks tick on clipborad) Maybe converting him won't be so hard after all.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

And the racers are just reaching the boarder... it's... it's... BISON PASSING FIRST!

Bison: YES! (Bagpipes play) YES!

Rainbow Dash(Sidelines): That's your answer for everything.

And here come Yugi & Kaiba.

Marik(Sidelines): Just what we were waiting for, Florence.

Bakura(Sidelines): Why are we going through with this?

Marik: To take Yugi's Leather Pants, the source of his power.

Bakura: Didn't we learn they were his Leather Shoes?

Marik: But Trialman loves the Leather Pants song, so we're wrote in for the trouser-stealing.

Bakura: (Sigh)

Marik: LUNGE!

Both: (Lunge at Yugi's motorcycle)

(Cartoony cloud of smoke appears)

Bakura: Yes, I got them!

Marik: Those are mine, you foolish fool! (Takes back trousers)

Yugi: (Is driving into the jungle)

Bakura: That's a bit exaggerated, isn't it?

Marik: Shut up, Fluffy!

Next, Link is in!

Link: OH BOY! I'll grab my stuff!

And now Bison is passing the sign that points the way, and warns of quicksand.

Bison: (Uses Psycho Power to reverse the sign)

How predictable...

Yugi and Kaiba are tricked! But the sign spins back round since they passed so quickly.

Marik: We'd better go and warn them!

Bakura: Wouldn't it better to leave them? The Pharaoh would be dead.

Marik: But we'll lose the Leather Pants!

Yugi: I play...

Marik: HOLD IT! You're driving towards deadly quicksand!

Kaiba: Like we'll trust you!

Yugi: Hey, it's Malik, remember he joined us at the Battle City tournament. And he's brought a new friend with him.

Bakura: It's me, Bakura, you idiot!

Yugi: Sorry, never heard of you. And did you hear about Mako reuniting with the ocean?

Bakura: OH COME ON! I trapped your soul in your Dark Magician card. All that Freaky Fish Guy...

Mako(Travelling down the Amazon River): I'm not a Freaky Fish Guy!

Yugi: What are doing anyway?

Mako: I'm cheating on the ocean for the River Amazon. Now for our true act of love! (Jumps into river)

Yugi: Strange guy.

Mako(Aquatic voice): Um, fish, could you leave me and the river alone?

Marik: What type of person tries to have children with a body of water?

Yugi: I think we should turn back. After all, Malik's told us we're going to land the quicksan... (Falls into quicksand)

Kaiba: Why would you us about this anyway? (Jumps off motorcycle as it sinks)

Marik: Because I'm Yugi's friend.

Bakura: Get out of there, you idiot!

Yugi: But I'll lose my motorcycle!

Marik: FOOLISH FOOL! It's race budget, Trialman will send in a new one.

Yugi: MUST... RISK.. LIFE... FOR... CHILDREN'S... TRADING... CARDS!

Kaiba: There's obsessive, and then there's just plain dumb.

Marik: I know.

Kaiba: But Yugi is neither, I swear he has a fetish for those cards.

Yugi: Only one way out. (Millennium Puzzle glows) SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME ULTRA SPECIAL SEXY TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE GO!

Yami Yugi: I'm back, baby!

Applejack(Sidelines): Who are you callin' a baby?

Yami Yugi: Now I shall destroy this accursed quicksand. MIND CRUSH... IN SURROUND!

Kaiba: Um, that doesn't have a...

(Yami has somehow mind crushed the quicksand out of existence)

Kaiba: That was very brave... and very cowardly as well.

Yami Yugi: What?

Kaiba: Mind crushing something that doesn't have a mind. But there is also the matter of summoning the Pharaoh to do so.

Yami Yugi: Yeah, but he's a cowardly boy anyway. It was necessary, since I can't part with my cards that are aimed at young children.

Kaiba: You could just as easily use pockets.

Yami Yugi: But someone could pickpocket me.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Mokuba: ...Sharing kindness. It's an easy feat...

Trialman: How are the ratings going?

Mokuba: The show is an internet phenomenon.

Trialman: NO! I MEANT THE WACKY RACES!

Mokuba: Oh. The ratings have just gotten 20% cooler.

Trialman: (Whispers and writes a tick on clipboard) I used to wonder what friendship could be...

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Yami Yugi: I have a sudden urge to sing. (Singing voice) My Little Card Game, My Little Card Game. Ah, ah, ah, ah. MY LITTLE CARD GAME! I used to wonder what strategy could be. Until you all shared it's genius with me. Big tourneys, tons of fun! A beautiful magician, sneaky and smart. Trading cards, it's an easy feat, and Yu-Gi-Oh makes it all complete, yeah! My Little Card Game! Did you know you're all my very best deck?

Kaiba: You have annoyed me so much! In fact, I'm going to cheat and reset my Life Points to 9999!

Yami Yugi: Wait, did you just give yourself a bunch of Life Points in one turn?

Kaiba: Yeah, so?

Yami Yugi: That's against the rules, isn't it?

Kaiba: Screw the rules! I have a motorcycle!

Yami Yugi: Well, in that case. EXODIA!

Kaiba: Wait? When did you have all 5 parts out?

Yami Yugi: I didn't, you just said you had the authority to make a mockery of the rules because you're riding a motorcycle, so I can cheat as well, as I'm on a motorcycle.

Kaiba: (Facepalm)

And what's this? LOOK OUT KAIBA!

Kaiba: What?

(Vase falls on Kaiba)

Kaiba: HEY! What gives? (Hit by anvil)

Wolf(Sidelines): What the heck?

(Cart of hay hits Kaiba)

Kaiba: (Hit by piano) Ughhh!

According to the la...

Kaiba: (Hit by car, then plane)

Exactly what I was going to say, and next should be...

Kaiba: (Hit by ocean liner)

How did I know that was going to happen?

Kaiba: (Hit by blimp)

Now, I didn't expect that. And that blimp is about one third the size of Kaiba's now damaged ego.

Mokuba: That was quite a beating.

Derpy Mail don't joke when they say direct delivery. They just drop it right on... (Hit by mail bag)

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Link: He really needs to get a new transition phrase.

And now Link and The King approach the rope bridge. Link drives across with ease, but the heavy Dinner Car is stuck.

The King: OAH SHIPS!

The bridge continues to creak, and the Dinner Car falls through.

The King: Enough! (Turns Dinner Car into a boat) My ship sails in the morning, I wonder what's for DINNER?

And the Dinner Boat lands in the Amazon River, and sails on, but did he remember the river has piranha fish?

And here comes Gwonam, I hope he can get across with those slats missing.

Gwonam: SQAUDALA! WE ARE OFF! (Flies over bridge)

But where is Bison? He passed the sign first, so he should be first here. Oh, there he is, already past the bridge.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Marik: Keep on running, Florence, we should be able to catch up again.

Bakura: But we only caught them thanks to the quicksand.

Marik: Shut up, Fluffy.

(Up road)

Yami Yugi: I summon the Dark Magician!

Kaiba: I call my second Blue-Eyes-White Dragon.

And now they leave the branch of path and are back on the main track, and it's served as a shortcut, putting them in first place.

Bison: That's cheating!

Says the one who redirected them that way by turning the sign.

And back at the bridge, Richter and Maria are approaching.

Richter: HYDRO STORM!

Rainbow Dash(Sidelines): That's your answer for everything.

Maria: The horse does have a point.

Richter: What else am I supposed to do? Let you do the job?

Maria: That's what you'll do! (Summons dragon sub-weapon to carry them across)

And here comes Fang!

Fang: Activate hover mode! (Hovers over gap)

And how will Dracula fare?

Dracula: (Turns into Bat)

He's stopped at the end of the bridge!

Mokuba: He's lifting his cape, I sense a dirty trick coming up.

Dracula: (Uses fireballs to burn the ropes)

How low can you get? Especially since HVGN and Megaman were crossing.

Mokuba: What a fall! And it seems HVGN is falling too fast for Rock to help him.

I think he's unfortunately out of the race.

(White flag raises out of the Amazon)

Yep, he definitely has. RESCUE TEAM, HELP HVGN OUT OF THE AMAZON RIVER!

Mega Man: Activate Rush Marine Mode. (Sails underwater using the Rush Marine)

(At the bridge)

Meen: (Traps self in book)

(Meen's guardians throw the book across the bridge)

And Meen leaves the book to continue on.

And the Doomcar is stuck, I think we just lost another racer.

Morshu: BOMBS! (Uses explosion to propel himself to the other side)

And Alucard uses Bat Form to cross.

And here comes Robotnik, currently in last place, and as expected, he flies across the gap.

(Meanwhile, underwater)

Mega Man(Thoughts): The King's car has turned into a ship? I'm not usually for attacking people, but at least I can get rid of him and get a better chance at winning.

(Fast Funkster fires missiles that destroy part of the Dinner Ship's hull)

The King: No, how can this be? (Reads handbook) The captain goes down with his ship? I guess this means I have to go down.

Mega Man: (Emerges) Sorry, King, but as a racer, I have to try and win, even if it means destroying other racers chances. (Goes back underwater)

The King: I'LL HAVE MY ! JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE, MEGA FLAN-FACE! (Sinks)

And now Mega Man manages to leave the Amazon and is in the ocean and already en route to Antarctica.

(Meanwhile, back on dry land)

And Yugi and Kaiba are the first to finish this leg, and they drive straight to the ocean, and float thanks to special wheels that can drive on water.

Yugi: It's anime. Don't question it.

And it seems Bison will be next, but he's took down by the combined effort of Link and Gwonam.

Link: Great, I'll grab my stuff.

Gwonam: There is no time. Your sword is enough.

And they drive to ocean, Link uses Sea Battle mode. Gwonam hovers with his magic carpet.

And a recovered Bison uses Psycho Power to allow his car to float.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Trialman: I know this race is supposed to take place over the course of a day, but in real life, I've spent over a week on writing.

Mokuba: And what does a week passing mean?

Trialman: The next episode of My Little Pony! (Boots up laptop)

Mokuba: Oh great!

Trialman: Nice start. Oh, here we go.

Mokuba: Oh no, not this!

Trialman(Singing): My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, aahhh, MY LITTLE PONY! I used to wonder what friendship could be. Until you all shared it's magic with me. Big adventures. Tons of fun. A beautiful heart. Faithful and strong. Sharing kindness, it's an easy feat, and magic makes it all complete, yeah! My Little Pony. Did you know you're all my very best friends.

Mokuba: It's stuck again!

Trialman: Fast manoeuvres from Scootaloo. And Applebloom is being picked, how mean.

Mokuba: You're so obsessive, it's not funny.

Trialman: So what? And why not have the cupcake Applebloom?

Mokuba: Because it's a cupcake made by Pinkie Pie, and you know what's in her cupcakes.

Trialman: That was a bad fanfic! And how do you know about what happened in it?

Mokuba: I seen it on TV Tropes.

Trialman: I haven't read that fanfic, and I don't want to, I'd rather stay with the parody called, "Rainbow Dash Presents Cupcakes"

Mokuba: I noticed a link to it on the TV Tropes page, but didn't watch it.

Trialman: All of you who want the basic Cupcakes story without being scarred for life, or have read it and need some Nightmare Retardant, watch that video, it's the advice from TV Tropes.

Mokuba: Right.

Trialman: Oh, and Applebloom has a chipped tooth. And it's nice to see Zecora make another appearance. Oh, and I at first misheard Zecora's name as Bakura when I watched the poison jokes episode.

Bakura: Comparing me to a zebra?

Trialman: Just a slight mishearing, never know when it can happen. And "too impatient to be patient", why do I find that so funny?

Mokuba: You're just so obsessed.

Trialman: Shut up, Mokuba! She wants it now? Why do I suddenly have a Season 1 flashback? Nice animation on the expolsion.

Mokuba: Is it true that the animation is high-quality?

Trialman: Yes, and the chipped tooth fixing itself has a well animated effect.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Yami Yugi: I summon the Dark Magician!

Kaiba: I use Monster Reborn to bring back the Dark Magician Girl you lost earlier.

Link: Go down you stupid robot! (Shoots power sword beam at Mega Man)

Mega Man: (Grabs beam from midair) Now I've got your power! (Shoots power sword beam from arm cannon)

Link: NO! (Gets hit) I'll get you yet, Mega Man!

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Trialman: Nice flower.

Mokuba: What is it?

Trialman: Heart's Desire. It's effect is self-explanatory. Applebloom has got her cutie mark because of it.

Mokuba: So is the episode over?

Trialman: No.

Mokuba: What is her cutie mark anyway?

Trialman: A hula-hoop. Also, there's a mini-Derpy.

Mokuba: What's next?

Trialman: Wow, Applebloom has MAD SKILLZ!

Mokuba: To use an overused meme.

Trialman: SHUT UP, MOKUBA!

Mokuba: Well excuuuuuuussssseee me, princess!

Trialman: I'll just ignore that. Now we're getting to the main plot, that is to say, storyline. She's got a second cutie mark.

Mokuba: Why did you need to mention what you meant by plot?

Trialman: Let's just say plot has a different meaning in this fandom and leave it at that. And why didn't Fluttershy appear in that last scene? All of the other Mane 6 did.

Mokuba: I don't know.

Trialman: I never asked you! And three cutie marks? And is that a generation 1 pony in the painting?

Mokuba: How long will you be so obsessed?

Trialman(Pinkie Pie voice): Foreveeerrrrr! (Normal voice) And she has a plague called Cutie Pox.

Mokuba: Wait, did I hear Bakura's name?

Trialman: It's Zecora, you idiot! A carpentry cutie mark? How ironic, since in season 1, she asked, "Who wants a hammer on their flank anyway?"

Mokuba: You seriously have no life.

Trialman: Then how am I watching this show, and talking to you?

Mokuba: Um, I don't know.

Trialman: EPIC FAIL! And Applejack is asking some pony to tell the truth? What happened to Element Of Honesty?

Mokuba: You're so annoying!

Trialman(Ignoring Mokuba): And of course, Zecora makes a mysterious disappearance. And Celestia is still a major troll.

Mokuba: What do you mean?

Trialman: In Lesson Zero, she didn't come to say Twilight didn't need to write letters every week until it was too late, then forces all of the Mane 6 to write friendship reports, even those that aren't her students, and now even the Cutie Mark Crusaders have to write them? Sounds like trolling to me.

Mokuba: You've annoyed me enough, I challenge you to a children's card game!

Trialman(Already shuffling cards): Challenge accepted.

Mokuba: Here we go! (Draws 5 cards) You go first.

Trialman: I play the spell card, "Dark Side", now you can't read the stats on my cards, or know what monster it is. I also set a trap card face down, and I summon a monster.

Mokuba: What about piercing damage and backfires? Isn't the point not to know card stats?

Trialman: Simple, it also hides the amount of life points we have, we don't know how many life points we have, or how much damage we do to each other. I can know the stats of my cards for hints at it, but I don't do high amounts of maths.

Mokuba: I use Exchange, now we swap cards. Have my Exodia.

Trialman(Thoughts): Wait, Exodia as a full card? Isn't it meant to be in 5 parts?

Mokuba: Take it.

Trialman: GOTCHA! That's meant to be Exodia as a full card, when that is impossible! Don't try to fool me with your fake cards, and you're meant to be a Yu-Gi-Oh character! How dare you cheat at a children's card game! Under my rules, you lose half your life points from that!

Mokuba: Well, in that case, I summon Duke Devlin!

Trialman: Wait, did you just turn the extremely hot Duke into a children's trading card?

Mokuba: Yeah, like it?

Trialman: You have serious issues, boy!

Duke Devlin: Turn me back into my super sexy, human self, you little ingrate!

Mokuba: You're a human card.

Yusei: Human cards only exist in dreams, and that's in 5Ds, you're in the original Yu-Gi-Oh!

Mokuba: Who cares? This is a fanfic.

Yusei: But not a 5Ds fanfic.

Mokuba: NNNOOOOOOOOOO!

Yusei and Trialman: SHUT UP, MOKUBA!

Mokuba: (Is knocked out from the force of our voices)

Yusei: Guess I'll take over.

Random guard: Is that allowed?

Trialman: It happened in Yu-Gi-Oh The Movie.

(Meanwhile, Duke's turned back to normal)

(Mokuba's life point indicator is changed to 8000 because of Yusei taking over)

Yusei: I summon Mokuba's dropped HardMan and synchro-summon my Sticky Keys

Trialman: Wait, you mean HardMan as in the Mega Man boss?

Yusei: Yes.

Trialman: Well, I use the spell Control Panel to disable Sticky Keys!

Yusei: NO! (Sticky Keys card is destroyed) I summon Elecman!

Trialman: I activate my trap card, it's Trap Hole! Elecman has 2000 ATK points, so he's removed.

Yusei: HardMan, use your hard knuckle on the mystery monster!

Trialman: (Loses life points from piercing damage of destroyed monster) It'll be over sooner than you think. (Plays another monster) And I activate, Monster Reborn, and I resurrect your Elecman to my side of the field, since it's already been used in this duel, it isn't affected by Dark Side.

Yusei: You think that'll work? I summon...

(Yusei is kicked in the back of the head by Mokuba)

Trialman: Wait, did you attack someone without beating them in a children's card game?

Mokuba: Yeah!

Trialman: That's against Yu-Gi-Oh regulations! I use a spell card to change a spell/trap slot into a monster slot. Then I discard Dark World, and use my spell, "Mane 6 Auto Summon", and I summon Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie! With all 6 in place, I can use the spell card, "Elements Of Harmony"! Think of it like the Exodia of these new My Little Pony themed cards.

Mokuba: NO! NOT AN INSTANT WIN CARD!

Trialman: Yes, an instant win! HONESTY, KINDNESS, LAUGHTER, GENEROUSITY, LOYALTY, MAGIC!

(Rainbow shoots from pony holograms onto Mokuba)

Trialman: And look at that, you wasted all of the timeslot with this card game. And as we can see, Yugi and Kaiba are the only remaining racers, and they're coming up to the finish line! And it's Yugi, not Yami.

(On the track)

Kaiba: This spell allows me to destroy that face-down card, and the amount of defense points will be the damage dealt to both of us!

Yugi: Okay, it's the One Eyed Shield Dragon, with the equip for an extra 700 defense. So we both take 2000 damage!

(The damage takes both of their life points to 0)

Kaiba: NO! Our motorcycles are slowing down!

(The slowed down motorcycles cross the finish line)

Mokuba: Who won?

Trialman: Let me see it frame-by-frame in Sony Vegas.

(It's shown they crossed at the same time)

IT'S A TIE!

Yugi: That was such an intense card game. I can't wait for the next race.

Trialman: The next chapter shall be interviews with the characters. And I still don't own the characters in this story, this is a non-profit organization, so the usage of these characters is allowed under the Fair Use Bill 107 or whatever the hell it is. Goodbye for now, Wacky fans and bronies alike. See you for the interviews!


	7. Chapter 7

**A look at their thoughts: Racer Interviews**

Trialman: Hello, Trialman here, and I am here to have interviews with our Wacky cast. Let us start with Dracula.

Mokuba: Hold on! I have an important letter.

Trialman: Let me see this.

Letter: I'm sorry to tell you I have to leave, but I have to review some more classics no one played. Signed, HVGN.

Trialman: I had a back-up prepared in case this happened. Also, considering the changes, I think I should show our updated intro, with the number of racers raised from 17 to 18.

(Updated intro begins)

And now here they are, the most daredevil group of parodied drivers to whirl their wheels in the Wacky Races. Competing for the greatest prize know to man and woman, all the money, recognition and dinner you can imagine.

The cars are approaching the starting line, first is the ROB(Rondo Of Blood) Car driven by Richter Belmont and Maria Renard.

Next is Alucard in the Alucart Mobile.

Here's the King in his Dinner Car.

Screw the pink hedgehog, here comes Kaiba with his Blue-Headlights White Mobile!

Here comes the cool Octocar drove by Link!

The Buffalo Charger drove by M. Bison now approaches.

I feel a song coming on for the next racer, "Dadadada, Super Fighting Robot... MEGA MAN!" in his Fast Funkster.

His full name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik, and he has the Eggmobile.

The Rupees Guzzler drove by Morshu.

And here is Waluigi, in his Gold Mantis.

I.M. Meen in the Baddie-Baddie.

And here is the Card Mobile with Yugi and Joey!

And here he comes, it's DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24th AND A HALF CENTURY!

He's poppy, he's sneaky, it's Fang The Sniper.

He's closely followed by the Koopalings and their Doomcar.

Following them is the G.C.I.K.(Greatest Car In Koridai) with Gannon.

On the Motor Carpet, we have Gwonam.

And sneaking along last, is that Vampire Wheeler with Dracula.

And away they go on the way-out Wacky Races.

(Updated intro ends)

Marik: Hey, didn't you say me and Florence would be back-up?

Trialman: Eh, I prefer the running around to try and steal Yugi's trousers.

Bakura: You mean that I shall be a main character?

Trialman: Yes, and it won't take 200 bloody episodes. Now, on with the interview!

"And for no reason, I shall speak like this for the rest of the episode!" Announced Mokuba.

Trialman: Don't even try that, you dodo!

Mokuba: Um, okay, is this better?

Trialman: Yes!

Ishizu: Once again, my mission to protect the fourth wall has failed.

Trialman: What fourth wall? Oh, you mean the one that collapsed, why even protect it?

Ishizu: Because shut up!

"Why do you not like this style of talking?" Asked Mokuba

Trialman: I don't dislike it, I use it in normal fanfics, but this story uses script format!

Ishizu: How am I meant to repair the fourth wall when you lampshade your fourth wall gag?

Trialman: Simple, you don't. The saying goes, "The fourth wall is fragile, don't bother fixing it, it'll come down again."

Ishizu: Here's another saying, "Go (BLEEP) yourself, Trialman!"

Trialman: Here's yet another saying, "Holy Ra, you're irritating!"

Mokuba: Stop fighting and get on with the interviews.

Trialman: Okay.

(Shortly)

Trialman: So, Dracula, how do you feel about the races thus far?

Dracula: They greatly interest me, and I enjoy beating those, 'humans'.

Trialman: When do you think you'll be in the top 3?

Dracula: Next time.

Trialman: What is your favourite self-quote?

Dracula: "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!"

Mokuba: How do you race in sunlight?

Dracula: I can't really do that. I can do it here for the sake of the story.

Trialman: I see. Who's next, Mokuba?

Mokuba: Link

Link: Gee, it sure is boring around here.

Trialman: Link, if you could throw out one racer, who would it be?

Link: Gannon.

Trialman: Would you join me?

Link: No.

Trialman: And why did you enter?

Link: So I could win the dinner!

Trialman: Really?

Link: I'm so hungry, I could eat some dodongos.

Trialman: The next race shall be a water track, how do you feel about that?

Link: Great, I can't wait to bomb an octorock.

Trialman: Odd girl.

Sissel(Sidelines): I agree.

Lynne(Sidelines): Me too.

Trialman: Next up is Yugi!

Mokuba: Yugi, why do you call Yami in every dire situation?

Yugi: Because I need him to help me.

Trialman(Whispering to Mokuba): Just don't tell him Yami dies at the end of Yu-Gi-Oh.

Gannon: Join me!

Trialman: I would tell you to wait your turn, but why bother? Okay, what would you do if Link joined you?

Gannon: Make his face the GREATest in Koridai!

Mokuba(Gwonam impersonation): Your majesty, Gannon and his minions are turning Link's face evil!

Trialman(King impersonation): Hmm, can we help?

Mokuba: It is written, "No you can't!"

Trialman and Mokuba(Normal voices): OAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHUHUHUHAHAHA!

Kaiba: (Smirks)

(+1000000000 dead puppies)

Kaiba: Rainbow Dash always dresses in style.

(Everyone screams and runs out the door)

Kaiba: I knew studying up on bronies would pay off, as I've broke the interviews up. As the only one here, I end this chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Race 5: Mushroom Beach

Trialman: Hello and welcome to Mushroom Beach, a combination of various Mario Kart tracks, and here we find our racers ready to kick ass and eat dinner. And they're all out of dinner!

Mokuba: Let us see how it goes now that there's 18 racers instead of 17.

And they're off!

Duck Dodgers has took an early lead, but will he be able to outrun Kaiba? And racing behind in 3rd is the Card Mobile!

Yugi: I summon the Dark Magician!

Joey: I summon my Red-Eyes!

Kaiba: I use the Double Trap Hole, and it pulls your monsters in.

And that has allowed Duck Dodgers to move even further ahead. And where is Waluigi?

(On a cliff overseeing the beach)

Waluigi: With this modified DS, I'll raise the water level so the racers are stuck under it.

Looks good. And Waluigi is pushing up on the d-pad!

Duck Dodgers: Are you ready, Eager Young Space Cadet?

There's no Eager Young Space Cadet with you!

Duck Dodgers: Oh. Then make way for, DUCK DODGERS! IN THE 24TH AND ½ CENTURY! (Goes under sand) Whoops, had the silly thing in reverse. (Blasts out of sand and into the air) Now I can avoid those Cataquacks. And is it just me, or is the water rising?

Waluigi: BALST! I missed him. Oh well, at least I can get the others.

Kaiba: Rising water?

Joey: I activate the Ocarina Of Time.

(Music plays as the Card Mobile and Blue-Headlights White Mobile take off)

Joey: That made no sense whatsoever.

Mai Valentine(Out of nowhere): Darling! (hugs Joey)

Joey: Nipples!

Kaiba: Screw the sense, I have money.

(Down the track)

King: ENOUGH! (Turns car into boat) My ship sails in the morning, I wonder what's for DINNER!

Gwonam: SQAUDALA! I AM OFF! (Flies up into the air)

King: DINNER! (Throws dinner)

Gwonam: AAAHHHHHHHH! (Falls into water)

Waluigi: Heh, nice of him to take one down for me. (Presses down on d-pad)

And the water lowers, and The King's ship becomes stranded on a cliff. And the water flies in both directions as Megaman uses the Rush Marine to continue on through the water.

King: Ah, there's the button. (Is washed away by the Rush Marine's tidal wave) OAH! SHIPS!

And The King ends up in a hillside cave as he presses the button to turn the ship back into the Dinner Car.

Waluigi: CHEAT! Oh well.

And he's pushing up on the d-pad to flood the cave.

(Meanwhile)

Maria: Richter, the water's rising fast, what do we do?

Richter: Um, I'd say we're in some dee...

And the Rondo Of Blood Car is destroyed by the water.

Dracula: HAHAHAHAHAHA! (Uses the Bat Wing converter on the Vampire Wheeler)

Gannon: NO! Not into the pit, it bu...(Dies)

Morshu: I'll MMMMMM lighten the load. (Throws everything out)

But it's to no avail, Morshu is still too heavy, and fails to float. And Alucard equips the Holy Symbol!

Robotnik: I shall fire my PING...(Starts uncontrollably flailing about) What's wrong with me?

Bison: YES! YES! THIS PYSCHO POWER IS DELICIOUS!

Pity for the Koopalings as the Doomcar happens to be a tank.

Ludwig: Roy, why did you have that dumb idea to make this so heavy?

Roy: You built the Doomcar, you went along with the plan!

Morton: But that is because you blackmailed him, that is to say, you made him agree to your plan, which was to have a heavy, through incentive, which was that you tell King Dad, our father, on how Ludwig kissed Lemmy, who is the 2nd oldest and 6th youngest of us, and as Lemmy is our brother, and Ludwig is our brother, this would classify as the offense legally called incest, which is to perform roman...

(Voice fades out as punching and kicking noises are heard)

And on the other side of this awkwardly shaped cliff, The King emerges from the other side of the cave in a tidal wave and is going to land in the water.

King: (Turns car into ship)

And wow, it looks like he'll... YES! THE KING IS FIRST ACROSS THE LINE!

King: OAH HAHAHAHAHAHUHUHUHAHAHA!

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Mokuba: And Seto has passed the Card Mobile.

Joey: What? BROOKLYN RAGE! (Pushes overdrive lever on dashboard)

Yugi: I thought I had that removed. WOAH! (Is left clinging on to the car from behind as it speeds towards Kaiba)

Joey: Oh no! (Shoves steering wheel as far as possible to make turn)

Kaiba: Face it, Wheeler, you'll never beat me.

(Millennium Puzzle starts glowing)

Yugi: WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE! FORM OF... AN EYGYTIAN HOMOSEXUAL! (Turns into Yami)

Yami Yugi: (Somehow in the Card Mobile's driver seat) But I can beat you, Kaiba!

Kaiba: Oh please, I have the forbidden card from chapter 5. Now I'll tear off your (BLEEP)...

Yami Yugi: (Laughs) Afraid I don't have one!

Kaiba: AH! IMPOSSIBLE! WHAT THE F...

(The area around the Blue-Headlights White Mobile and Card Mobile explodes)

Waluigi: Hahaha! (Sees where the water from the explosion is going) Uh-oh!

And Waluigi is washed away by the water left from the underwater explosion! And the water has caused his modified DS to malfunction, the water level is going up and down at random! There's Gwonam.

Gwonam: SQUADALA! (Flies up before the water covers him)

Bison: My pyscho power has ran out! (Falls on the ground, which breaks the heavy car)

So, Bison is out, and Gwonam is back in!

And at the finish line, Megaman has just passed, putting him in second! And wait, another signal?

(Shortly)

Mokuba: And the signal activated because Alucard crossed the finish line underwater.

So three have passed, so this race is officially over.

Mokuba: So the final results are, 1st, The King, in 2nd is Megaman, and 3rd is Alucard!

We'll see you next time, Wacky fans.

(End of chapter)

A/N: Well, that was quite a race, Waluigi got to try a dirty trick for the first time, and was quite a large-scale cheat, which backfired in his face, as it helped someone else win, and allowed him to be affected by an explosion, bad luck for him. I also have a special plan for Chapter 10, which I won't reveal here, but I assure you it will be special. See you next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

Race 6: Special Guest Appearences

Hi there, Wacky fans, and today, we have special guest racers to up the excitement.

Mokuba: And here they come!

And our first guest is... JADEN YUKI!

Yugi: Oh, you have got to (BLEEP)ing kidding me!

Jaden(raps): All right racers, check it out, it's Jaden from GX,  
>And sad to say, dawgs, you're my new test subjects,<br>So listen up, here it is, the awesome challenge I suggest,  
>Who ever spits the best moves outta' youse and me will be the wackiest<br>racer in the world, and the King Of Races!

Yugi: Uh, Jaden, you're not black.

Mokuba: Wait, a time portal, and a motorcycle is coming out.

What's Paradox doing here? This wasn't in the script!

Paradox: Pwotagonist!

All protagonist characters: Uh, which one of us?

Paradox: Those ones! (Points at Yugi and Jaden)

I guess we'll have to let him in.

And our third guest is Dr. Wily!

Wily: I'm Dr. Wily, my robots and I will control the world!

Next, we have King Dedede!

Dedede: Are you gonna get clobbahed by me? We'll find out in this race!

Our fifth guest is the trio of the Warner Siblings.

Yakko: Now let's remember the Wheel Of Morality at the end.

Wakko: I have my gaggy bag.

Dot: Don't forget me, as I am the cute one.

And our sixth guest is somehow able to operate the car despite having no opposable thumbs, it's Pinkie Pie!

Pinkie: Let's avoid those meanie mean pants Cupcakes jokes, shall we?

And for our seventh and final guest, he'll remember it so you don't have to, it's The Nostalgia Critic!

Critic: Now I'm going to prove to you, Angry Video Game Nerd, that I am better than you!

And today's track is many different tracks connected by portals.

Mokuba: And who knows where they'll go...

(Racers drive off)

And Mokuba has made them start prematurely by saying "go". And the Card Mobile is up against the Blue-Headlights White Mobile, as usual.

Kaiba: And now I summon 3 Blue-Eyes White Dragons!

Paradox: Now, Anti-Hewo, watch, as I turn your favouwite monsters, into cwappy fwee-dee effects. Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Ha haha! Ha haha haha!

(Fanfic pauses)

Trialman: We here at Wacky Races would like to apologize for the lack of 3D content in this fanfic. (red no symbol is shown in front of a pair of 3D glasses) However, we would like to think this is totally justified since 3D is bull(BLEEP) and adds absolutely nothing to the literary experience. (Paradox's motorcycle is shown) So please, enjoy your 2D fanfic, because it's cheaper and much less obnoxious.

(Fanfic restarts)

Paradox: (Drives into the first portal)

Joey: He just stole Kaiba's cards!

Kaiba: He's made me angry, and he won't like me when I'm angry! (Slams his fist onto a button on the dashboard)

Yugi: What is he up to?

Kaiba: GET BACK HERE! (Speeds through the portal)

Yugi: He'd better remember that when he hits 88mph...

Joey: He's gonna see some serious (BLEEP)

Yugi: No, he'll be violating the speed limit.

Yami Yugi(Spirit form): Hey, Yugi, (whispers)

Yugi: Pharaoh, that's dirty!

Both: SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME ULTRA SPECIAL SUPER SEXY TRANSFORMATION SEQUNCE... IN 3D!

Joey: Nyeh, Yug, the fanfic is in 2D.

Yami Yugi: We're back baby!

Jaden: What's you doing inside him anyway?

Everyone agrees dude, that is pretty gay!

Yami Yugi: You know Jaden, I don't think you know who you're dealing with. I activate Ancient Rules! Now I don't need to tribute summon higher level monsters.

Jaden: Oh yeah, you didn't read it properly, as the description says it affects all players, so I can do the same!

Joey: But Trialman doesn't know much about your deck, so who knows if you'll draw a good card that can exploit Ancient Rules!

Yami Yugi: I summon the Dark Magician!

Joey: Are you even watching where we're drivin'?

Jaden: Ha, later homies! (Drives through portal)

Yami Yugi: What?

(Card Mobile crashes into the side of the portal)

Waluigi: At least I don't have to cheat you out! Hahahaha! (Drives through portal)

(Everyone drives through)

Yami Yugi: Now what?

Joey: We ride a monster from a children's card game. (Summons Red-Eyes Black Dragon)

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Police officer: Pull over, Mac! You were doing 88mph.

Kaiba: Screw the rules, I have money!

Officer: Shut up, you're gonna see some serious (BLEEP)!

Kaiba: Even though I don't have 3 cards to tribute, I summon Obelisk the Tormentor!

Obelisk: TORMENT! (Beats the officer with Fists Of Fury)

Kaiba: And I'll be off. (Races off)

And now to look at the situation, Paradox is in firs... WAIT! Somehow, Pinkie has went into first.

Rainbow Dash(Sidelines): Pinkie Pie, you are so random.

And Paradox is now in second!

Paradox: What? Well in that case, I'd better go faster. Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Ha haha! Ha haha haha! (His motorcycle skids the highway) Don't know why I did that, seems kinda dangewous actualwy.

Currently in 3rd is Waluigi!

Waluigi: I guess it's time for my first dirty trick. I bring out the Blue Shell!

No, not the Blue Shell!

Waluigi: Yes, the Blue Shell!

Also, currently in last is the team of Yugi and Joey, but they seem to be catching up by using Joey's Red-Eyes.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Kaiba: I got you now, Paradox!

Jaden: Don't forget me and my sweet moves, homies!

Paradox: Now I twap you, in the Mowific World!

Kaiba: You think this cheap hologram is going to affect me? Apart from me liking the colour scheme.

Paradox: Stop that, it's supposed to be thweatening!

Jaden: This isn't so bad.

Joey: BROOKLYN RAGE!

And here comes the Red-Eyes Black Dragon!

Yami Yugi: I summon the Dark Magician With Boobies!

Kaiba: It's Dark Magician Girl, get it right!

Paradox: I summon the Mowific Bwue-Eyes White Dwagon, and use some random effect that is never descwibed to summon the other two!

Joey: Oh, I'm ready!

Kaiba: Wheeler, the Blue-Eyes is stronger than the Red-Eyes.

Yami Yugi: This is where I come in. Dark Magician, and Dark Magician With Big Boobies...

Kaiba: Dark Magician Girl!

Yami Yugi: …Use Dark Magic Twin Burst and combine it with the Red-Eyes Flame Breath to destroy the Malefic Blue-Eyes White Dragons!

Kaiba: Now I use Monster Reborn to bring back one of the Malefic Blue-Eyes White Dragons and exploit the effect you mentioned to bring back the other two.

Joey: Now I use Purification to turn them back to normal!

Jaden: Now I summon Elemental Hero... (Ran over by Yusei) AAHHHHHHHHH!

Yami Yugi: Huh, Yusei, what are you doing here?

Yusei: I came to this city to play a card game.

Jack(Sidelines): ON MOTORCYCLES!

Kaiba: Now I sacrifice my Blue-Eyes White Dragons to summon Obelisk the Tormentor!

Yami Yugi: Well, we're a bit busy with Paradox.

Jaden: Uh, I'm fine, because Trialman wills it.

Yusei: I'd better team up with you.

Paradox: Mowific Twap Hole! Now I stop you fwom summoning Obewisk and bwing a Mowific Obewisk to my side of the field!

(Music starts)

Yusei: There's jus...

(Fanfic fast forwards)

Jaden: Come on guys, now it's time to blow doors down!

Yusei: I hear you, Jaden, now it's time to blow doors down!

Jaden: So make your move, 'cause I'm throwin' a face-down!

Yami Yugi: Okay, just make sure you don't summon a gay clown!

Yami Yugi, Jaden and Yusei: NOW WE'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS SUCKER DOWN!

Yami Yugi: My hairy balls will make sure he won't take us down! (Uses Kuriboh)

Kuriboh: Dodolalalalala!

Paradox: NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, HOW DO I TAKE THEM DOWN?

Jaden: We're gonna beat ya, oh, Paradox, no doubt 'bout it, our card game rocks!

Yusei: As far as villains go, in anime, I hate to tell you, you're just cliché!

Yami Yugi: That's right, you messed with, the wrong show, we're not just anyone, we're Yu-Gi-Oh!

Yami Yugi, Jaden and Yusei: We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh!

Paradox: Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Ha haha! Ha haha haha! (Snaps fingers and teleports out)

Kaiba: Hey, get back here, you coward! And bring your Malefic deck with you!

And Pinkie Pie is... slowing down? And she's let the Yu-Gi-Oh cast pass her?

Waluigi: Hahaha! Now I get more!

I see, she went behind to avoid the Blue Shell, and now...

(Blue Shell blows up the Yu-Gi-Oh cast)

And now Pinkie goes straight back to first, at least, I think it's first, who knows where Paradox went?

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Mokuba: What's in that bag?

Trialman: A new file for History class.

Mokuba: I don't believe you!

Trialman: See for yourself. (Pulls out green ring binder file)

Mokuba: You triggered my trap card! Veritaserum! This forces you to tell the truth! Now, what else is in that bag?

Trialman: Mikados.

Mokuba: And...

Trialman: Something wrong with chocolate tipped biscuit sticks in my bag?

Mokuba: I meant, what else?

Trialman: Okay, if you really want to know, Sparkle World magazine.

Mokuba: Why would you buy that?

Trialman: For the ponies.

(Robotnik suddenly appears in the office)

Robotnik: Snooping as usual, I see!

Mokuba: I could say the same about you, now get back to the race!

Robotnik: NO!

Mokuba: I activate WTF Boom!

Robotnik(SA1 voice): NO WAY! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! (Is sent flying onto the track by the explosion)

Critic: (BLEEP) you! (Shoots Robotnik)

Robotnik: NO WAY! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

And the gunshot destroys the Eggmobile, so Robotnik is out of the race!

Robotnik: I hate that critic!

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

And the Yu-Gi-Oh cast are approaching the portal!

(They go through the portal)

And now they're second, and Waluigi looks like he'll be third through.

Voice: No.

Who?

(Paradox drives out of portal)

Paradox: Pwotagonists!

Kaiba: So you return, you coward!

Paradox: And now we're in the Mowific World again, with my Mowific Obewisk!

Joey: I activate Brooklyn Rage!

Kaiba: And what will that do? Turn you int...

Joey: AARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Turns green and increases in size so dramatically it rips apart his clothes)

Kaiba: Looks my sarcastic joke about 'The Incredible Sulk' isn't going to work.

Jaden: And I reveal my face-down! It's Slifer The Executive Producer, summoned using Ancient Rules! And I have 6 cards in my hand, and activate my face-down Pot Of Greed to draw two more! Now I have 8 cards in my hand, giving Slifer 8000 ATK Points! And what's this, a face-down Magician Of Faith, I flip it and use the effect to recycle Pot Of Greed, drawing 2 more cards! 10 cards in hand, Slifer has 10000 ATK Points!

Yami Yugi: How much?

Jaden: OVER 9000! Now, Slifer, destroy Malefic Obelisk!

Paradox: NO! AAHHHHHHHHH! (Loses 6000 life points as Battle Damage)

Yusei: Maybe you can do something useful after all, Jaden.

Jaden: Do something useful? Such an understatement, I just took a level in badass!

Joey: RRAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! (Throws punch at Paradox and misses)

Paradox: Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Ha haha! Ha haha haha!

Yami Yugi: Joey, calm down!

Joey: NYEH! (Turns back to normal) Thanks, I don't wha... (Sees he's naked) AAHH! (Covers himself with his hands)

Mokuba: We really did not need to see that!

I agree with Mokuba, we really didn't need to see that!

Dark Magician Girl: Hey, Dark Magician, what can we do about Joey?

Dark Magician: This! (Casts spell that puts clothes on Joey)

Joey: Phew, thanks Dar... AHHH! Why have you put me in a wedding dress?

Dark Magician: Because it's funnier than ending the gag by putting some normal clothes.

Jaden: I draw a card, raising Slifer's ATK to 11000! And I reveal my spell, Recycle Gag!

(Music starts)

Yusei: There's jus...

(Fanfic fast forwards)

Jaden: Come on guys, now it's time to blow doors down!

Yusei: I hear you, Jaden, now it's time to blow doors down!

Jaden: So make your move, 'cause I'm throwin' a face-down!

Yami Yugi: Okay, just make sure you don't summon a gay clown!

Yami Yugi, Jaden and Yusei: NOW WE'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS SUCKER DOWN!

Yami Yugi: My hairy balls will make sure he won't take us down! (Uses Kuriboh)

Kuriboh: Dodolalalalala!

Paradox: NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, HOW DO I TAKE THEM DOWN?

Jaden: We're gonna beat ya, oh, Paradox, no doubt 'bout it, our card game rocks!

Yusei: As far as villains go, in anime, I hate to tell you, you're just cliché!

Yami Yugi: That's right, you messed with, the wrong show, we're not just anyone, we're Yu-Gi-Oh!

Yami Yugi, Jaden and Yusei: We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh!

Paradox: Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Ha haha! Ha haha haha! (Snaps fingers and teleports out)

Kaiba: Hey, get back here, you coward! And bring your Malefic deck with you!

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Trialman: Hahaha, I read the My Little Pony section of Sparkle World while Mokuba was away, he'll never know.

(Door opens)

Mokuba: Who will never know what?

Trialman: The 'who' is you, so... (Mocking voice) I'm not telling!

Mokuba: I was searching the My Little Pony section of for some reason.

Trialman: And?...

Mokuba: What is 'The Prayer Ponies' like?

Tea: It's just like something out of a bad fanfic. Wait a second, it is a bad fanfic!

Tristan: Convenient background placements FTW!

Mokuba: And I can't find your fanfic anywhere.

Trialman: I haven't got it up, I'm lazy on other fanfics due to this story.

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Paradox: Pwotagonists!

Yami Yugi: Here we go again...

Joey: You can't beat my Brooklyn Rage!

Paradox: Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Are you wearing a wedding dress?

Joey: You are just adding to my Brooklyn Rage!

Paradox: Whatever? I activate Monster Weborn! I bwing back Mowific Obewisk! Now I expwoit the hell outta Duel Monsters to summon two monsters and sacwifice them to increase Mowific Obewisk's ATK to infinity!

Joey: My Brooklyn Rage is at MAX! Now I can use any effect I wish, and I choose to negate all of your last turn!

(Helicopter arrives)

Pegasus: Looks like you could use some FABULOUS help!

Paradox: I'm fine, and besides, I did twy to kill you.

Pegasus: No, not to you. I was talking to Yugi-Boy! (Jumps onto Red-Eyes)

Joey: What are going to do?

Pegasus: I activate Fanservice! (Summons Toon Dark Magician Girl)

Yami Yugi: Say, Yugi has this card in his deck. (Summons Toon Dark Magician Girl)

Kaiba: I would destroy Fanservice because of Toon Dark Magician Girl, but you're on my side, so that wouldn't be of any use to me.

Pegasus: Now I summon a normal Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl.

Joey: Nyeh, you have strange moves.

Yusei: Say, there are 2 Dark Magicians, 2 Dark Magician Girls and 2 Toon Dark Magician Girls.

Pegasus: I know what you're getting at.

Yami Yugi: Dark Magic power, times by 6!

Paradox: Miwwor Fowce!

Joey: I use Seven Tools Of The Bandit, it may cost me 1000 Life Points, but I negate the Mirror Force activation and destroy it.

Paradox: Mowific Bwock! It awwows me to bwock one attack! And I bwock the Dark Magic times by 6!

Pegasus: I use the Mystical Space Typhoon! Now I can destroy one spell or trap, and I destroy the Malefic World card.

Paradox: NO! This can't be happening, how do I take them down?

Pegasus: Also, as a side effect, all Malefic based spells and traps you used are now negated!

Yami Yugi: So the duel really changes, let's list all the changes(which isn't much), also, Pegasus somehow knows them all!

Pegasus: You used Malefic Trap Hole on Kaiba-Boy's Obelisk, and now that that's negated...

(Obelisk appears on Kaiba's side of the field)

Pegasus: And Malefic Block is now negated!

Paradox: (Hit by the 6 Dark Magic attacks)

Jaden: And now he's outta Life Points!

Yami Yugi: I sacrifice my Dark Magician, Dark Magician With Boobies, and Toon Dark Magician Girl to summon Mega Ultra Chicken!

Joey: What's the point?

Yami Yugi: All three God Cards are out, so we can do an epic finish!

Trialman: FINISH HIM!

Yami Yugi: Jaden, Kaiba, all three of us shall use our God Cards on him at once!

Kaiba: Obelisk, attack with Fists Of Fury!

Jaden: Slifer, write Paradox out with your power as Executive Producer!

Yami Yugi: Mega Ultra Chicken, show him that you're not a yellow chicken of a God Card!

Paradox: NO NONO! NO NONO NONO! NO NONO! NO NONO NO... WAAAOOOOOHHHHHHHH! (Is wiped out by the wrath of the Egyptian Gods)

Mokuba: Well... ummm, that duel took up a lot of the race.

Trialman: The whole timeslot! We're going to have to cut this off without any results. We'll see you next time for our Chapter 10 celebration!

(End of chapter)


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10: RAINBOW ROAD!

HI THERE WACKY FANS, THIS IS THE 10TH CHAPTER, SO WE'RE CELEBRATING WITH A RACE ON THE RAINBOW ROAD!

Mokuba: Don't speak in block capitals, someone could report you for it.

Okay, but still, this shall be super special awesome, as our racers prepare for a trip down the Rainbow Road!

Yugi: I have my deck ready for this.

Joey: That's with an 'e', not an 'i', right?

Kaiba: I'm going to beat you with 3 Blue-Eyes White Dragons.

King: How are we even breathing?

Gannon: Because you won't DIE at my hands!

Link: I'm so excited, I could eat The King!

(Car zooms to the starting positions)

Meen: Who?

Cowboy Jed: YEE-HAW! HOWDY, IT'S ME, COWBOY JED!

Mokuba: Oh great, him, that guy who overacted to sell Mario Kart Wii.

Cowboy Jed: GOT A FAMILY OF OVER 9000? YOU CAN RACE HIM! JUST LOOK AT JED JR.!

Jed Jr.: This is boring, daddy!

Cowboy Jed: LOOK AT THAT BOI! HE IS A HIPPIE! GET BEHIND THE WHEEL TO LOOK AT THE FOOTAGE!

Waluigi: This guy is so annoying.

Lakitu: GO! GO! GO!

(Everyone drives off)

Cowboy Jed: (Points at cars ahead) HOW DID THOSE BEAUTIES END UP ALL SQUIDED? (Throws Blooper) LOOK AT THE FOOTAGE!

Dracula: I'd love to look at the footage... the footage where I suck your blood out!

(Nobody is effected by the Blooper thanks to touch screen maps)

Kaiba: In fact, I redirect my Blue-Eyes' attack away from you.

Yugi: Why?

Kaiba: So I can get him! (Sends Blue-Eyes after Cowboy Jed)

Cowboy Jed: HOW DID THIS KART END UP SO TOAST? LOOK AT THE FOOTAGE! (Hit by Blue-Eyes) GOT A FRIEND IN KORIDAI? YOU CAN RACE HIM WITH ONLINE CAPIBILITY!

Link: It's easy.

Cowboy Jed: WWOOOOO! EVERY MARIO KART WII COMES WITHOUT THE ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK! RATED OVER 9000 FOR SAUSAGES!

Judge Judy: Mr. Jed, I hereby give my verdict... YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

Cowboy Jed: DID SOMEONE SAY IDIOT? TO THE IDIOT MOBILE!

(Duh-a nuh-a )

(Batman theme plays)

Cowboy Jed: JEDMAN! JEDMAN! JEDMAN! JEDMAN! DANANANANANANANANANAAAHH! JEDMAN! INTO THE JED CAVE!

There's no Jed Cave!

Duck Dodgers: Good thing I brought my disintegrating pistol, and when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.

(Disintegrating Pistol disintegrates)

Duck Dodgers: Well, what do you know? It disintegrated.

Jed: NOW I SHOW OFF THE BRAND NEW MEGA MUSHROOM! (Shrinks)

Link: Huh?

Jed: WHOOPS! HAD THE SILLY THING IN REVERSE! (Grows to massive size)

Yugi: I'll stop him. (Plays Dark Magician Girl)

(Dark Magician Girl doesn't appear)

Yugi: …..What?

Joey: Yug, aren't you meant to sacrifice a monster to summon Dark Magician Girl?

Yugi: SCREW THE... (Run over by Cowboy Jed)

Jed: HAHAHA! LOOK AT THAT BOI! HE'S ALL FLATTENED, YOU ALREADY LOOKED AT THE FOOTAGE!

(Jack Atlas appears to chase Cowboy Jed)

Jack: CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

Jed: HOW DO YOU PLAY CARD GAMES IN MARIO KART WII?

Jack: I DON'T NEED YOUR MARIO KART! I HAVE MY VERY OWN MOTORCYCLE ON WHICH I CAN PLAY CARD GAMES!

Kaiba: I'm going after him on the motorcycle from Episode 52. (Chases after Jack and Jed)

Yugi: Okay, since when did this fanfic become amazing?

Kaiba(Singing): Don't say if I were you, or tell me what you'd do, how things would be if you were in my shoes, 'cause you're not me! (Crashes)

Jed: DID YOU SEE THAT FOOTAGE?

Kaiba: (Driving the Blue-Headlights White Mobile again) Good thing I'm Seto Kaiba, or that might have actually hurt me.

Mokuba: YAY! BIG BROTHER!

Trialman: Shut up, Mokuba!

Yami Yugi: Now that I'm here without any transformation or anything like that, I'm going to summon Slifer: The Executive Producer!

?: You impudent fool! I shall banish your god card from this race, thanks to my Pyramid Of Light, and after that, I'll destroy the world!

Bakura: It sure took you long enough, Zorc.

?: I am not aware of this 'Zorc' that you speak of... (Emerges)

Marik: What the frig! Who the (EFF) are you?

Anubis: I am Anubis, the Egyptian lord of the dead.

Marik: Want to team up to defeat the Pharaoh?

Anubis: Why would I?

Marik: Florence here has a friend who can help you destroy the world in the half the time you could alone.

Anubis: DEAL!

Marik: Just sign the contract.

Anubis: (Signs)

Marik: (Holds out Millennium Rod) Ha! What a foolish fool, you just signed the name change document, now your name is Steve!

Anubis: Yes, Master Marik, what is your command?

Marik: Go to the Shadow Realm, because you deserve it for being a random villain with generic motives that we don't give a crap about!

Anubis: Yes Master Marik. (Commits suicide)

Bakura: Good work, Marik, you sure gave that guy what was coming to him.

Joey: Did ya hear somethin', Yug?

Yami Yugi: I thought I did, probably a generic villain with even more generic motives mumbling about destroying the world.

(Spaceship flies towards the track)

Yami Yugi: What the...?

Joey: Nyeh, wait, the guy in that ship, is it...?

Duke: Yes, it's me, Duke Devlin, driving the Extremely Phallic Spaceship, and since it belongs to me, it grows to twice it's usual size.

(Extremely Phallic Spaceship doubles in size)

And up ahead, on a nearby planetoid, we see Waluigi.

Waluigi: Heh heh heh! With a massive hammer that looks like it came straight out of WarioWare, I'm going to smack this planetoid right into Cowboy Jed.

Looks promising.

Jed: LOOK AT THIS FOOTAGE! (Activates Golden Mushroom and Star)

Waluigi: Here I go! (Smacks planetoid with hammer)

Wait a minu...

(Waluigi crashes into the star-powered Jed and is sent flying off into space)

Mokuba: Wow! That was quite the failure.

Trialman: I think it's safe to say Waluigi is out.

(Phone rings)

Trialman: I'll get it. (Picks up phone) Yes?... What?... You're kidding!... And what if I say no?... Okay, but only if you win... Okay. (Puts down phone)

Mokuba: What happened?

Trialman: It's horrible!

(Meanwhile)

Jack: NO! MY MONSTER IS GONE!

Jed: LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUT! (Shoves Jack off the track)

Megaman: You're not getting away with this! (Touches Jed's kart) Now I've got your power. (Uses Star)

Jed: OH NO YOU DON'T! (Uses Star and Mega Mushroom) WATCH THIS AMAZING FOOTAGE WHERE I REMOVE HIM! (Flattens Megaman)

Morshu: MMMMM! You're going down thanks to my Rope and Bombs. (Uses Rope to pull Jed back)

Jed: HEY!

Morshu: Bombs! (Blows up Jed)

Jed: HOW DID THIS ONE DIE? YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, LOOK AT THE (BLEEP)ING FOOTAGE! (Uses Blue Shell on Morshu)

(Meanwhile)

Trialman: So Mokuba, this is my personal Commissioner Mobile, sometimes called the Minibus, as it's a small red car, as London buses are known for being big and red.

Mokuba: So we're going out to the track on this?

Trialman: Yes.

Mokuba: Can I dri...

Trialman: SHUT UP MOKUBA! (Gets in the Minibus)

Mokuba: What a jerk! (Gets in the Minibus)

Trialman: Here we go! (Drives into a portal)

(On the track)

Link: Hey, what's that portal?

(The Minibus emerges)

Trialman: Racers, I have received some unfortunate news.

Gwonam: What is it?

Trialman: If Cowboy Jed wins, he takes over the fanfic, and he'll make a new version which won't have any of us.

The King: OAH! SHIPS!

Trialman: We need help. We need someone powerful, we need someone... who we know is reliable... we need help from another world... we need someone who is at least 20% Cooler than Cowboy Jed!

Voice: Did someone say 20% Cooler?

Trialman: Hey, that sounds like the one we need!

(Rainbow Dash flies onto the track)

Bison: YES! (Bagpipes play) YES!

Gwonam: It is written, only Rainbow Dash can save the Wacky Races.

Richter: Seriously? A candy coloured pony?

Alucard: It may seem absurd, but she is most likely our last hope.

Kaiba: Even though I may hate My Little Pony, I'll have to agree with Alucard.

Joey: Nyeh, let's go unleash our Brooklyn Rage on Cowboy Jed.

Maria: We shall show them what we can do!

Gannon: He dare try to steal our story? HE MUST DIE!

Link: I can't wait to bomb Cowboy Jed!

Fang: No one shall take my chance at jewels!

Meen: How I hate that Cowboy! Let's really make him cry.

Ludwig: We shall stop them, or my name isn't Ludwig von Koopa!

Robotnik: We shall scare that guy out of his pants for Snooping in this fanfic!

Duck Dodgers: No one shall interrupt the course I pursue to find the finish line.

Dracula: He may be a... 'human' but he definitely isn't paying me tribute.

Trialman: Then let's go!

(Everyone speeds down the Rainbow Road, with Rainbow Dash leading)

Trialman: I use Stardust Mirage to bring back all the racers who were lost during this chapter!

(Glass walls appear which Waluigi, Morshu and Megaman drive out of)

Cowboy Jed: Well, look here, a foolish bunch of racers who wish to beat me, Cowboy Jed.

Megaman: You're not getting away this time! (Fires Mega Buster)

Cowboy Jed: LOOK AT THE... (Hit by Mega Buster)

Trialman: YES!

Cowboy Jed: I WILL DO MORE THAN RECOVER... WATCH AS I ACTIVATE... MY PERMANENT MEGA MUSHROOM! (Grows to massive size) Ha haha! Ha haha haha! Ha haha! Ha haha haha!

Trialman: Ladies and gentlemen, if we don't make it through this, I want you to know, it's been an honour hosting races with you, even you Gannon.

Yami Yugi: You can be my wingman any time Trialman.

Trialman: No Yami, you can be mine... No homo, right?

Yami Yugi: ALL OF THE HOMO!

Cowboy Jed: BLUE SHELL! LAY WASTE TO THEIR KARTS, AND CHANGE THE FANFIC!

(Entire cast is blown up)

Cowboy Jed: I AM... WICTORIOUS!

(Music starts)

Trialman: There's just no way we can win...

Mokuba: His shells are epic items...

Joey: He drives too well because he's not a normal man.

Yami Yugi: Listen, all of you!

Rainbow Dash: He's gonna rewrite your stories...

Kaiba: He's gonna wipe out our fanfics...

Waluigi: Never!

Megaman: Unless we bust that massive kart into pieces!

Link: Racers... We've been through so much stuff.

Mokuba: I had to hear Trialman yelling.

King: With MAH DINNER!

Meen, Morshu and Alucard: Now it's time to take this sucker dooowwwwwnnnnnnn!

(Music becomes more upbeat)

Gannon: Come on guys, now it's time to blow doors down!

Ludwig: I hear you, Gannon, now it's time to blow doors down.

Fang: So make your move, 'cause it's time for the showdown!

Yami Yugi: Okay, just make sure you don't summon a gay clown!

Rainbow Dash, Maria and Wendy: NOW WE'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS SUCKER DOWN!

Yami Yugi: My hairy balls will make sure he won't take us down! (Uses Kuriboh)

Kuriboh: Dodolalalalala! (Blocks Blue Shell)

Cowboy Jed: NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, HOW DO I TAKE THEM DOWN?

Mokuba: We're gonna beat ya, oh Jed-a-dox!

Joey: We know your weakness!

Larry: Our fanfic rocks!

Trialman: We raced many places... in fanfiction... We will eliminate you...

Richter: You're just cliché!

Yami Yugi: That's right, you messed with, the wrong fanfic...

Duke: You are the kart demon...

Dracula: WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE!

Entire Cast: WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE! WE'RE PARH-OH-DEE!

Cowboy Jed: NO NONO! NO NONO NONO! NO NONO! NO NONO NO... WAAAOOOOOHHHHHHHH! (Dies)

(Music ends)

Trialman: And it looks like we've saved the Wacky Races, now the racers are nearing the end. (Teleports back to the announcer's booth)

Mokuba: Aw, come on, I wanted to win the race.

Trialman: I'm afraid we can't, as we aren't racers, so if we're on the track, it's to assist the racers take down a threat like Cowboy Jed.

And back at the race, what's this? Is Waluigi driving towards the starting line?

Waluigi: No, that is a radio controlled dummy filled with dynamite.

But we're in space, how do the fuses stay lit?

(Fuses go out)

Waluigi: DRAT! DRAT! AND DOUBLE DRAT!

But all may not be lost, as it's heading towards a one car wide space.

Waluigi: Great! (Stops dummy car in said space) And now... (Gets into real car and drives towards the finish line)

Joey: Nyeh, Yuge, we may be stuck. (Points at fake Gold Mantis)

Yami Yugi: Not to worry. (Pulls out card) Hey Duke, mind working together?

Duke: Not at all, Duke Devlin would love some assistance.

Yami Yugi: Okay then, I use Polymerization!

(Card Mobile and Extremely Phallic Spaceship fuse together)

And Waluigi is on the Home Stretch, but is being followed by Yugi, Joey and Duke Devlin.

Waluigi: Oh no you don't, take this! (Uses Gold Mantis to scoop up part of the Rainbow Road)

Joey: Nyeh, you do know we're flyin', right?

Waluigi: I wasn't intending to send you down a pit. (Throws Rainbow at the Extremely Phallic Spaceship)

And the Extremely Phallic Spaceship has been hit! As some of us might know, Rainbows can be very hot.

Yami Yugi: What? Where are we going?

Duke: I don't know, the Rainbow made us lose control.

Joey: Then let's lick it off, after all, Skittles are really good.

Rainbow Dash: Um, pure Rainbows aren't exactly known for their flavour.

Yami Yugi: What? Why is so spicy.

Duke: Duke Devlin might like hot things, but not if they're spicy.

Joey: Nyeh! My tongue! Why didn't the Skittles tell us they used something to stop the Rainbow from being so spicy?

And the Extremely Phallic Spaceship is down! And yes, yes! Waluigi wins this race!

Waluigi: Yeh, heh, heh! I said nobody cheats better than me, and it looks like I was right!

And now it looks like Duck Dodgers is about to head towards that dummy car.

Dodgers: This looks like a job for... DUCK DODGERS... IN THE 24th AND A HALF... CENTURY! (Takes off and flies past the dummy car)

And now Robotnik moves on past, but it looks like he can't catch up!

Robotnik: I shall fire my P.I.N.G.A.S. missiles!

And Robotnik has fired off a volley of heat-seeking missiles at Duck Dodgers!

Dodgers: No need to worry, the stars are at a much higher temperature than me, so they'll... (Gets blown up)

Robotnik: Hahaha, look up suspension of disbelief next time! (Heads straight for the Finish)

And in 2nd is Dr. Ivo Robotnik!

Robotnik: I knew I'd win!

But now we head back to the dummy car, and Kaiba is approaching it!

Mokuba: Look out big brother!

Kaiba: Screw the roadblock, I have money! (Drives through it)

And now Kaiba heads towards the finish line, but is challenged by Gannon!

Kaiba; Blue-Eyes White Dragon, send him to The Pit!

Gannon: NO! NOT INTO THE PIT! IT BURRRRNNNNNSSSSSS! (Is driven off the track by Blue-Eyes)

And Kaiba finishes 3rd!

Kaiba: Not that it matters, even if I came 1st, I still wouldn't be 5% richer.

So this race is done, join us next time Wacky Fans for even more fun and racing, with a new gimmick for the next set of chapters!

**(End of chapter)**


	11. Chapter 11

Race 8: Norway and England

Hello, and welcome to our next race, today, we're going through Norway, then going to England.

Mokuba: And our new gimmick is that will be a st...

Trialman: SHUT UP MOKUBA! And, as we were saying, the gimmick will be a stalker, someone is added to chase the racers, and they may try to eliminate, harrass, knock-out or anything to hinder our racers.

Mokuba: And our first stalker, from obscure video game Clock Tower, we have Scissorman!

Trialman: Yes, and in order to balance things out, Scissorman can now walk much faster than in the game.

Mokuba: How?

Dark Magician(As guard): A wizard did it.

Trialman: Now let me get out my map. (Goes to computer)

Mokuba: That's not a map, you've just opened the Norway page on Wikipedia.

Trialman: Shut up, Mokuba! Now, we're starting at Burroughs Mansion, then heading to Oslo, where the racers will take a plane to England, and once there, they will head to Barrows Castle.

Mokuba: Don't spell it differently each time you say it.

Trialman: It's not my fault the name has been translated 2 different ways.

(Cut to track)

And they're already off, heading through the forest where Barrow's Mansion is located. It seems that Morshu is currently in the lead, and behind him is Robotnik, followed by Bison. Waluigi in the Gold Mantis is nowhere in sight, but currently in last is The Doomcar.

Ludwig: Alright siblings, let's show them what we learned from the Anthill Mob!

Wendy: But that might ruin my shoes!

Ludwig: Shut up and get to it!

And the Koopalings have put their feet through the bottom of the car, and are running for it, just like the Anthill Mob.

Mokuba: He said that already.

Shut up, Mokuba! And what's that rustling in the woods? Oh, it's just Waluigi. Say, what's your plan anyway?

Waluigi: This plan might have failed for Dastardly, but I hope I can make it work. (Clears throat) "I don't think I'll ever see a roadblock as lovely as tree." (Cuts down tree)

And it's worked, the tree has landed in the middle of the road.

Waluigi: YES! (Gets into Gold Mantis and drives off)

Morshu: Lamp Oil! (Puts lamp oil on the tree, and ignites it)

And the racers drive on, Waluigi has failed!

Waluigi: Drat, drat, and double drat!

But the tree burning down has revealed Scissorman!

Morshu: BOMBS! (Throws bombs)

The bombs aren't doing anything! And Morshu weaves around, but is now being relentlessly pursued!

(Cut to behind)

And it seems that Link is fighting with Gwonam for 4th place.

Gwonam: It is written, only I can win this race.

Link: I don't care!

And Link shoots rocks from his Octocar!

Gwonam: AAHHHHH! (Flies out of control)

And it seems Gwonam is out.

Link: OH BOI!

And now Morshu is driving as fast as he can! But he's almost out of fuel!

Morshu: I'll try this. (Pours lamp oil into engine)

Didn't you do that before?

Morshu: Yes, but it will work this time, or my name isn't MMMMMMMMorshu!

And it seems to work, he boosts right past Waluigi!

Waluigi: I let him.

Why?

Morshu: AAHHHHH!

(Waluigi pass a hole in the road)

Waluigi: See you sucker!

So Morshu fell in there?

Waluigi: Exactly!

(Behind)

And Scissorman has also fell in!

(Screaming and clanging is heard)

Mokuba: Ummmm, can we say Morshu is out of the fanfic?

Trialman: He'll be back for the next race, don't worry.

And now Waluigi is in the lead, with Robotnik in 2nd, and Bison is in third... NO! The Doomcar has just passed Bison!

Iggy: See you later, Buffalo.

Bison: That joke is NOT delicious!

And now The Doomcar has just passed Robotnik!

Robotnik: I shall fire my PINGAS Missiles!

And Robotnik has fired off his missiles, and they... fly back at him?

(Eggmobile blows up)

Robotnik: Scratch! Grounder! Get over here you piston-brains!

Scratch: Yeah, what is it?

Robotnik: I told you NOT to set those PINGAS Missiles to fire on me!

Grounder: Well, it's not our fault your vehicle gives off a lot of heat.

Robotnik: Shut up! Rebuild my Eggmobile!

Scratch: You could have just said that.

(Shortly)

Robotnik: And now, I'm out of here! (Boosts away)

But that delay has set Robonik back a few positions.

(Up ahead)

And Waluigi has arrived in Oslo, and is about to enter the airport, so let's stop to explain how this works.

Trialman: (Clears throat) When a racer arrives, he will buy a ticket, when the plane arrives, he takes it, depending on when he arrives, he may have to share the plane with other racers. The earlier you're in, the earlier your plane, and an early plane allows you to get a head start in England. And that, I believe is all.

And Waluigi is just in time for the plane, so he's on it alone.

We will now stop this race for an update on the positions of our racers.

1st: Waluigi

2nd: The Doomcar

3rd: Bison

4th: Link

5th: Yugi and Joey

6th: Robotnik

7th: I.M. Meen

8th: Dracula

9th: Duck Dodgers

10th: Kaiba

11th: Alucard

12th: ROB Car

13th: The King

14th: Gannon

15th: Fang

16th: Mega Man

DIE: Morshu

DIE: Gwonam

And now, The Doomcar and Bison have arrived, and have to take the same plane.

(At the plane)

Guile: Just get in the plane.

And now they're off on the plane, but what is Larry up to?

Larry: Who's Larry? I'm Cheatsy Koopa.

Mokuba: What the...?

Ludwig: He has a split personality.

Trialman: What? I didn't hear about this!

Lemmy: We didn't think it was important.

Trialman: Think it wasn't important! Do you have any idea what he could do?

Roy: Think about his name, dumbass!

Mokuba: Oh, you mean he chea...

Trialman: SHUT UP MOKUBA! Well, he's called Cheatsy, so he must cheat.

Iggy: Exactly.

Now, let's go up the plane and see what he's up to.

(In the cockpit)

Mokuba: Why is there a pit for roosters?

SHUT UP MOKUBA! It's also the front of the plane where the pilot is, you idiot!

Cheatsy: I'm taking over this plane! (Throws away the pilot) Now, FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! (Press button)

(Plane shoots at Waluigi's plane)

Wait! Since when did passenger planes have machine guns?

Mokuba: Well, it is the Wac...

SHUT UP MOKUBA!

And now the two planes are engaged in a fierce dogfight.

(Meanwhile, down on the ground)

With Mega Man currently in last, he is drinking down an E-Tank, hoping it'll give him the boost he needs. But Scissorman has just appeared!

Mega Man: Take this! (Fires Mega Buster)

But Scissorman deflects the shots. Wait, a teleport beam?

Cutman: Let's see how well Scissorman does against Kung Fu Cut Man!

And now Cut Man attacks Scissorman. But it doesn't work, Cut Man has had his ass handed to him!

Mega Man: (Grabs Cut Man's flying head) Now I've got your power!

And Mega Man fires off Cut Man's shears, and it's a direct hit, Scissorman is down, but he won't stay there for long, so Mega Man takes the opportunity to get away while he has time. He zooms past Fang and Gannon!

Gannon: YOU MUST DIE!

The King uses his Octorock Dinner like a Mario Kart Golden Mushroom!

King: (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH! (Boosts) OAH!

The King has jetted into 11th and is now right behind Kaiba!

Kaiba: Screw The King! I have money!

And Kaiba jets away!

King: You piece of ship!

And Kaiba has boosts right to the airport, where Link, Yugi, Joey, Robotnik and I.M. Meen are already waiting.

Kaiba(At the ticket booth): ...and I'll be taking this one alone.

Ticket Guy: No way, there are 5 people already in line.

Kaiba: I'll pay extra.

Ticket Guy: Okay, hand it over.

Kaiba: Here.

Ticket Guy: MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! Now, I'll just hack the database so they'll have to wait for the next plane.

Kaiba: Thanks. (Goes to plane)

And now Kaiba, through the power of other's greed, has managed to take a commanding lead.

(Plane takes off)

Well, that was quite a plot twist.

Mokuba: I don't think that is a pl...

Kaiba(On TV): This is a special broadcast to the announcer's booth to give a special message. (Clears throat) SHUT UP MOKUBA!

(TV turns off)

That made no sense whatsoever.

And now Gannon has fallen into last place, with Scissorman directly behind him.

Gannon: You dare chase me? YOU MUST DIE! (Fires lightning)

It has no effect, and Gannon has been caught up with.

Gannon: AAHHH! The scissors! NO! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! (Dies)

Gannon is down.

(Meanwhile)

The other 5 waiting at the airport have gotten in. And Kaiba's plane has just got caught in the dogfight.

Kaiba: I knew I should have got that jet in the shape of a Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

Cheatsy: Ha! Little does the pilot of the third plane realise that I put a Bob-Omb on his plane!

And now the fourth plane has arrived.

Link: A dogfight, I'm getting up top.

Meen: Are you crazy, you goodie-goodie?

Link: No, I have the Power Sword, and my Glove of Power.

Lucas(Sidelines): I love the Power Glove... It's so bad!

Pilot: Buckle your seatbelts.

Yugi: What's going to happen?

(Pilot turns to show he's Peppy Hare)

Peppy: I'm going to DO A BARREL ROLL!

Yugi: Really? In that case...

(After 20 seconds of transformation sequence)

Yami Yugi: Go for it.

Peppy: (Barrel rolls)

Yami Yugi: (Sings The Phresh Pharaoh Of Bel-Air Theme Song)

Link: I'm going up. (Climbs out of window and onto the top of the plane)

Joey: He's crazy!

Robotnik(Sarcastically): Thanks for the Captain Obvious like statement!

And the plane is under fire!

Peppy: DO A BARREL ROLL! (Barrel Rolls)

And Link has been thrown off!

Mokuba: Another one to mark as out of the race.

No! Link has managed to grab onto Kaiba's plane!

Link: Yes! And now I'm going to get in through the cockpit!

And Link climbs to the cockpit.

Cheatsy: Take this! (Detonates Bob-Omb)

And the Bob-Omb has blown the front of the plane off! Link and that plane's pilot are nowhere to be seen!

Kaiba: I'm too rich to die! (Grabs briefcase and jumps out of plane)

And Kaiba has made the jump, but will he make it? Find out after these commercials!

(Commercial starts)

Billy: HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE BIG CITY GAYDAR! THE FAST AND EASY WAY TO FIND GAY PEOPLE! AND IN JUST 2 MINUTES, YOU'LL HAVE 5 BOYFRIENDS! ORDER NOW FOR $19.95, AND WE'LL ALSO SEND GAY-ASS SHIT! AND CALL RIGHT NOW AND WE'LL ALSO SEND YOU THIS GIANT MEDIEVIL SWLORD AT NO EXTRA COST!

(Commercial ends)

And now we return to the Wacky Races, where Kaiba had jumped out of his plane, which was blown up by Cheatsy!

Kaiba: MONEY UPPERCUT! (Does a Shoryuken to move higher in the air)

And Kaiba has grabbed a plane! And he climbs in through the window with ease!

Kaiba: Of course, I have experience with jumping out of windows, so getting back in wasn't too bad.

Waluigi: What are you doing here?

And it seems Kaiba has jumped into the wrong plane.

(Meanwhile, in Neo Domino City)

Yusei(Dismounting motorcycle): You've done a great job, girlfriend.

Aki: Wow, I didn't even do anything, but got complimented, you're so ki...

Yusei: I'm talking about the motorcycle!

Crow: Hey Yusei, is it gay to watch how the Wacky Races are at the moment?

Yusei: (Looks up to see the dogfight)

Jack: IT'S TOTALLY NOT!

Yusei: Of course, after all, it is just a bunch of people flying their phallic vehicles at extremely high speeds, which couldn't be anything but straight.

Crow: I don't know, still seems kinda gay to me.

Jack: WELL YOU'RE JUST DUMB!

Crow: Says the one who blew up a city with his mic test when it wasn't even plugged in.

Jack: IT WAS ON BATTERIES AT THE TIME, FEATHERBRAIN!

Yaoi fangirls: OMG! An argument with obvious insults, they must be in love, let's go write our erotic, M-Rated Jack/Crow fanfics!

Jack: I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT!

Crow: We agree for once. Let's run them over with our motorcycles!

Jack: OKAY!

(Meanwhile)

And now Dracula and Duck Dodgers have took off on a plane. I'd like to stop and show the current approximate standings.

1st. Waluigi

2nd. Kaiba

3rd. The Doomcar

4th. Bison

5th. Yugi and Joey

6th: Robotnik

7th: I.M. Meen

8th. Dracula

9th: Duck Dodgers

10th. The King

11th. ROB Car

12th. Mega Man

13th. Fang

14th. Alucard

DIE. Link

DIE. Gannon

DIE. Morshu

DIE: Gwonam

And Kaiba is in battle with Waluigi! Kaiba swings his briefcase, and he hits with so much force that Waluigi is knocked out a window, Waluigi is out!

Pilot: Uh-oh!

Kaiba: What do you mean, 'Uh-oh'?

Pilot: The fuel ran out.

(Plane stops in mid-air, before falling straight down)

And Kaiba is out!

(Meanwhile)

Duck Dodgers: And now, I'll blast Dracula with my Disintegrating Pistol. (Fires the pistol)

But he missed and hit the seat, disintegrating the entire plane, both Duck Dodgers and Dracula are out!

Cheatsy: My fuel is running out! But I'll go out with a bang! (Steers plane into the one with Yugi, Joey, Robotnik and I.M. Meen)

And the crash has blown up both of the planes, removing the racers on them from the race!

Mokuba: So we're going back to land?

OF COURSE! And on land, Richter is arguing with The King.

Richter: Take this! (Throws Holy Water)

King: OAH! This water burns! (Runs away)

And The King is out as well!

And now Fang battles with Alucard!

Alucard: That's it! (Bursts Fang's tyres with his sword)

Fang: Take this! (Shoots a cork into Alucard's exhaust pipe)

And the cork has caused the Alucart Mobile to blow up! Both Fang and Alucard are out, leaving Mega Man and the ROB Car!

Trialman: Excuse me, racers.

Richter: Yes?

Mega Man: What is it?

At this point, I've decided that the winner is the first to get into Oslo.

Both: OKAY!

And now the two are in a fight to get out, but Scissorman is still in the woods, somewhere.

Richter: (Chuckles) And where would he be?

Maria: (Looks at rear-view mirror) How about right behind us?

Richter: What? (Looks behind) AAAHHHHH!

And Scissorman is after them, and they turn into the trees to try and get away, which allows Mega Man to pass by easily.

Mega Man: Dr. Light, I'm not sure where Oslo is.

Dr, Light(Over intercom): It's pretty easy, just take the next left.

Mega Man: Okay. (Turns left)

And Mega Man has arrived in Oslo, determining him as the winner!

(Roll runs in)

Roll: (Hugs Mega Man) Well done, big brother.

Mega Man: It was nothing... apart from when Scissorman tried to kill me.

Roll: (Giggles) Oh, you're such a boaster.

(ROB Car emerges from the trees)

Maria: Who would have thought that thick glade would be a shortcut?

Mega Man: But it turned out to be moot anyway.

Richter: Good work on winning.

And that is all for today folks.

(End of chapter)


	12. Chapter 12

Race 9: Into The Underworld

Trialman: Hello, Wacky Fans. Today is our most dangerous track yet. Based on Kid Icarus Uprising, our racers will start in Skyworld, and race through many locations to make it to The Underworld.

Mokuba: And today's stalker will vary depending on the racers location.

Trialman: And in case you couldn't tell, this will contain Kid Icarus Uprising spoilers, so if you want to find out what happens for yourself, don't read this chapter.

And now Palutena opens the door, and begins to make a road in the sky, and the racers are off!

Meen: And I'm taking an early lead. (Laughs)

But this has allowed Meen to be the first to run into The Underworld Army.

Meen: Perfect. Get in here! (Throws book at them)

And The Underworld Army minions have been trapped in Meen's Magic Labyrinth.

Meen: They will do well as guardians.

(Medusa appears)

Medusa: Really? Well, let's see how you do against this beast.

And she's summoned Twinbellows!

Meen: (Laughs)

Medusa: This is no laughing matter, he'll eat your homework, or in this case, he'll eat your magic book.

King: For dinner.

Medusa: Not for dinner! (Disappears)

And now it seems there is a fight for 5th place between Duck Dodgers and Gannon.

Gannon: YOU MUST DIE!

Duck Dodgers: No, I have an advantage. (Fires disintegrating pistol)

Gannon: NO! IT BURNS! (Disintegrated)

And now Meen has approached a part where the road goes into freefall. He goes down, and Twinbellows jumps after him.

And now The King and Link battle for 2nd place.

King: If I give you dinner, will you take 3rd place?

Link: No.

King: How about you go into 3rd, then I'll give you DINNER and scrub you.

Link: You creep.

King: (Grabs Link)You piece of ship! (Throws Link off the track)

And Link is out. Let's check on Meen.

(Down on the ground)

And the road goes through a canyon which Twinbellows can't fit into!

Meen: They'll never catch me now!

And now The King goes into the free fall.

King: OAH!

And he's not slowing down! And he crashes into Twinbellows. Twinbellows is destroyed.

King: OAH HAHAHAHAHAHUHUHUHAHAHA!

Paluntena: Well, this is a turn-up for the books.

Mokuba: (Reads rule book) And according to this, we can mov...

Trialman: SHUT UP MOKUBA! LET ME THAT! (Snatches rule book) And according to this, we have to go to the next segment, as this segment's stalker has been defeated.

Paluntena: Okay. Changing generating path way.

And now they head off, and they're going to The Reaper Fortress.

Mokuba: What about Dark Lord Gaol's cas...

SHUT UP MOKUBA! THERE WASN'T ENOUGH MONEY TO GET THERE!

Mokuba: Why would you have to pay a goddess?

Trialman: Because shut up, Mokuba!

And Meen is up to something... He's throwing the book?

Meen: (Jumps into book)

Oh, I get it. He's going to have it fly on the wind to The Reaper Fortress undetected.

(Viridi appears)

Viridi: Really? Then I'll show him something. Children, blow him away!

(In Skyworld)

Pit: Wait, isn't that against the rules?

Viridi: Anything goes with the Forces Of Nature, as long as it's natural.

Pit: Lady Paluntena, I need to fly!

Paluntena: I can't, I can only concentrate on one thing at a time, and I can't disrupt the race.

Pit: Then what do I do?

Viridi: You can't!

(In the announcer's booth)

Trialman: Then I'll go in! (Pulls lever to bring out The Minibus)

Mokuba: Let's go.

Trialman: Not you. You must stay and commentate. (Climbs into The Minibus) Now just to activate the flight mode. (Presses button)

(The Minibus begins to float, and the window of the Announcer's Booth opens)

Trialman: And I'm off! (Flies out the window)

(At the location where Meen was)

Viridi: You're too late! My bookworms ate the book quicker than you could get here.

Trialman: How dare you use bookworms on the one who captures bookworms? Especially when he's in the book he uses for that purpose.

Viridi: It's ironic justice.

Trialman: Well, that settles it. I challenge you to a card game!

Viridi: Don't expect me to go easy! (Activates a leaf-based Duel Disk) And I'll start by summoning Wood Man! He has 2500 ATK Points, gains 250 during his attacks, and when he destroys a monster, he permanently gains 500 ATK.

Trialman: Hey, that's unfair!

Viridi: No, see for yourself. (Image of card appears) See, it's a Level 1 monster.

Trialman: You're asking for it, you cheater, making cards purposefully overpowered like that!

Viridi: I 'wood' love to see you try.

Trialman: …That wasn't very funny. Now I use the magic card, Early Sacrifice. It means I can tribute monsters for a tribute summon from my hand, and I sacrifice Dark Magician from my hand to play Dark Magician Girl!

(Dark Magician Girl appears)

Trialman: Now, Dark Magician Girl, ATTACK WOOD MAN!

Viridi: Even with the power boost, she still only has 2300 ATK Points, not to mention Wood Man's bonus points when he attacks.

Trialman: But he's not attacking, so he gets no boost!

Viridi: Well, Wood Man still has 2500 ATK, so he'll beat your Dar...

(Dark Magician Girl and Wood Man are destroyed)

Viridi: What the...

Trialman: I was using the manga version of Dark Magician Girl, which means she gains 500 Points for every Dark Magician in the graveyard. Now I use Monster Reborn to bring her back!

Viridi: And with that...(Draws) I'll take over.

Trialman: HOLD IT! I wished to place a face-down before your turn. (Places a card face-down)

Viridi: Right. Now I summon my second copy of Wood Man.

Trialman: Hahaha!

Viridi: What's so funny?

Trialman: You've walked straight into my trap. I use The Banhammer! This activates when you summon a monster, and all copies of that monster are Removed From Play!

Viridi: What the...

(Banhammer hits Wood Man, then Viridi's Duel Disk, removing two cards)

Viridi: Well... um... cheat... OH WHO CARES! I'll just place 5 cards face-down!

Trialman(Thoughts): Five face-downs? One must allow her to bring back removed monsters, but which, and even if I do find it, will it be the only one?... I've got to try it, as I only have one chance.

Trialman: Okay Viridi, get ready, as here I come! (Draws) And here is what I got, Unconcealed Powers.

Viridi: What the...

Trialman: Would you stop that? Either way, I can turn everything you have face-up until the End Phase.

(Cards turn face-up)

Trialman: So, you have Call Of The Haunted, Monster Reincarnation, Double Summon, Pot Of Greed and... Return From The Different Dimension! And at this time I can't counter it!

Viridi: (Laughs) Looks like you can't win.

Trialman: Oh yes I can, and this will see to it! (Sets 2 face-downs) Now I equip Dark Magician Girl with Magic Formula, increasing her ATK Points to 3200. And you also have nothing to defend yourself, so Dark Magician Girl, attack Viridi. BLACK BURNING!

Viridi: OUCH! (LP: 4800)

Trialman: My turn ends.

Viridi: (Draws) And now I use Return From The Different Dimension.

Trialman: My trap is tripped. Seven Tools Of The Bandit!

Viridi: But... what... how... you... counter... you said... time... unable to do so...

Trialman: I said, 'And at this time', I meant that very moment, so I made it possible to counter. Seven Tools may cost 1000 Life Points, but it's worth it. (LP: 7000)

(Return From The Different Dimension vanishes)

Viridi: Well, I'll place a monster on the field. (Sets face-down monster)

Trialman: Which activates my other trap, Divine Sacrifice, which summons 2 sacrificial tokens. These tokens can only be used for the summoning of a Divine-Beast monster. Which I will when the time is right. (Draws) And the right time is now! (Sacrifices the 2 tokens and Dark Magician Girl) Show yourself right now, Obelisk The Tormentor!

Kaiba: Hey, that's mine!

Trialman: As the author, I can transfer any cards at any time for fanfiction convenience. As Magic Formula was destroyed when I tributed Dark Magician Girl, I gain 1000 Life Points. (LP:8000) Now Obelisk, attack her face-down monster!

Obelisk: TORMENT! (Destroys face-down)

Viridi: And it was Naturia Cheeries. Which means I can set two new ones face-down. (Sets two face-down monsters) And now it's my turn. (Draws) And I'll sacrifice my two monsters to summon Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth!

Trialman: You're supposed to use the Cocoon Of Evolution!

Viridi: Nothing is said against normal summoning it. And now I use Axe Of Despair, raising it's attack to 4500 ATK.

Trialman: It does say you can only special summon it on the card's latest printing!

Viridi: And what is that supposed to mean?

Trialman: (Facepalm) It means the rules say you can only special summon it.

Viridi: Screw the rules, I'm a goddess! Now, my moth, attack his Obelisk!

(Obelisk is destroyed)

Trialman: NO! (LP: 7500)

Viridi: Looks like you're stuck.

Trialman: Oh yeah? My turn! (Draws) And I gain the magic card, Pot Of Greed, now I can draw two cards. (Draws) And I gained Rapid Warrior, it has 1200 ATK, and can attack directly. So charge past that moth!

Viridi: AHHH! (LP: 3600) But your monster will be destroyed on my turn.

Trialman: I don't think so, as I activate... BERSERKER SOUL!

Viridi: And... um... I'm guessing that's going to be bad for me... am I right?

Trialman: Yes, as it allows me to continue drawing until I draw a magic or trap card. But for every monster card, Rapid Warrior can attack you directly, after which I send the monster to my graveyard. (Draws) I have drawn Left Arm Of The Forbidden One, a monster card, I send it to the graveyard. Now, Rapid Warrior, ADDITIONAL ATTACK!

Viridi: NO! (LP: 2400)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) I have drawn... DARK MAGICIAN OF CHAOS! Rapid Warrior, hit her again!

Viridi: OW! (LP: 1200)

Trialman: Draw! (Draws) Breaker The Magical Warrior, a monster card! ATTACK!

Viridi: NO! DON'T HIT ME! AAAHHHHHHHHHH! (LP: 0)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) MONSTER CARD!

Viridi: HELP! (LP: 0)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) MONSTER CARD!

Viridi: WAIT, BUT I'VE BEEN DEFEA... OUCH! (LP: 0)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) MONSTER CARD!

Viridi: HEY, I'M TALKI... OW! (LP: 0)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) MONSTER CARD!

Viridi: ARE YOU LISTENING? OUCH! (LP: 0)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) MONSTER CARD!

Viridi: No, I've los... OW! (LP: 0)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) MONSTER CARD!

(Hours later)

Trialman: DRAW! (Draws) MONSTER CARD!

Mokuba: Stop it! You beat her hours ago.

Trialman: What?

Viridi: YES! WERE YOU LISTENING, YOU BIG... BIG... DEWB!

Trialman: Dewb? Ha, that's a dead word, only Griffons use that now.

Gilda: HEY! THAT'S MY VOCABULARY!

Trialman: See? Now, back to the race.

Mokuba: It ended hours ago. Li...

Link: I won!

Trialman: Damn you, Viridi!

Viridi: Watch your language. And I didn't use that card that made you go mad, or even start this card game.

Trialman: But you attacked Meen. So there! (Disappears)

(End of chapter)


	13. Chapter 13

Race 10: Ice Land

Hello Wacky fans, and welcome to Ice Land...

Mokuba: Quite a way north, isn't it?

I meant the location in Super Mario Bros. 3!

Mokuba: Well excuuu...

Link: That's my line!

Either way, as I was saying, I decided to take us to Ice Land at the personal request of Lemmy Koopa, a great racer with a pretty cool family.

Lemmy: Be sure to visit my land at .com.

And today, we bring the new gimmick of every racer gaining a Polymerization card, which can allow them to fuse their cars with other racers cars. When ever two cars are fused, the Polymerization cards turn into De-Fusion cards, which can seperate the cars back to their original selfs.

(Konami representative comes in)

Konami representative: Excuse me, Mr. Cruz...

Trialman: Please refer to me as Trialman, as that is the name I use in this story.

Konami representative: Right, sorry. But Jaden stole all the copies of Polymerization, so your gimmick can't be used.

Trialman: I see. Well, let's not worry too much, as just this morning, I was wondering if I was making a good choice, after all, the fusion might take some of the fun out of the race.

Konami representative: I see, maybe you're right. Good day Trialman. (Walks out the door)

(On the track)

Wendy: ...Yes, that is a good point, maybe we could...

Gannon: ...Try to make me offers...

Duck Dodgers: ...And that is how I saved the world once again from...

Kaiba: ...Great, another idiot who thinks he can make me like...

(Trialman walks in)

Trialman: Silence please.

(Everyone stops talking)

Trialman: Unfortunately, we lost the Polymerization cards. So we cannot continue with the gimmick I planned. But don't worry, we've done fine without them for the last 12 chapters, so it should be fine.

Kaiba: Thank you, Redundant-Man.

Trialman: I'll just ignore that. Now! Everyone into your cars!

Joey: Nyeh, let's go!

Yugi: Right.

Gannon: Let us have the GREATEST race in the Mushroom Kingdom!

Ludwig: Woah, yeah! This shall be great fun. Wha-hu-hu-ha-ha-ho!

(The drivers continue to say lines as they get in)

Trialman: GO!

(The cars drive away at high speeds)

Mokuba: Hey! Who's the stalker?

Trialman: Oh damn it! I forgot about that!

And now Waluigi has took the lead.

Waluigi: Hahaha! Now I'll show them. (Picks up snow with the Gold Mantis and turns around)

It looks like the Koopalings won't be in 2nd for too long!

Ludwig: Alright, siblings, show him the footwork!

(Six pairs of legs appear under the bottom of The Doomcar and start running)

And they're moving really fast now! And they zoomed right past Waluigi and sent the Gold Mantis spinning out.

Waluigi: DRAT!

Dracula: Now I shall make my move. (Zips ahead)

(A bit ahead)

Dracula: And now, as you can see, there is a bridge of ice here. I'm going to melt it. (Lifts cape and throws fireballs)

And it's working, the bridge has melted.

Dracula: Easy. Now I will move on. (Gets into Vampire Wheeler and drives away)

Now how will the Wacky Racers get across the gap?

(In the Doomcar)

Ludwig: Roy, get out!

Roy: Why?

Ludwig: We need you to throw the car across!

Morton: I'll help you as well, Roy, the one who is my brother, 3rd in our birth order, while I am 6th, but I still have strength similar to you, as I build myself...

Roy: Shut up and get out! (Climbs out)

Morton: (Climbs out)

(Outside)

Roy: On the count of 3! One, two... Three! (Throws Doomcar)

Morton: They're across!

Roy: Wait, but what about us? We've been left behind!

Morton: Don't worry, we'll hitchhike with the next Wacky Racer. (Gives thumbs up)

And here's Gwonam!

Gwonam: Want a lift?

Roy: Sure. (Throws Morton onto the Motor Carpet and climbs on)

Gwonam: SQUADALA! WE ARE OFF! (Flies over gap)

Now here comes Robotnik! And he floats over!

Waluigi: Little do they know that the Gold Mantis is capable of many things.

And the scoop from the Gold Mantis is retracting into it. And he's bringing out a cannon!

Waluigi: FIRE! (Fires cannon)

And he hits the ceiling of the cave, and the snow lodged in falls out, forming a makeshift bridge.

Waluigi: Don't thank me, this is just so I can get more of the Wacky Racers. (Drives across)

And he puts away the cannon, returning to the scoop.

Dracula: DRAT, I'll need to think of another dirty trick.

And now cutting through the positions is Alucard, as he just took 6th place and is planning to take 5th from Waluigi.

Walugi: Not if I can help it, I'll just turn on my spare engine. (Pulls lever)

And now Waluigi is using two engines at once, and he outruns Alucard. He also boosts right past Robotnik.

Waluigi: Now to turn it off, so I can save fuel. (Pulls lever)

But wait, what's this? It seems Duck Dodgers way-back in last has activated Way-Out Wacky Rocket Power. This allows his car to fly, and blast the racers with his hidden stun gun.

Duck Dodgers: Now I'll show Morshu that he doesn't have a car as versatile as this. (Fires Stun Gun)

Dodgers has stunned Morshu... Link... Kaiba... Fang... He's even got Richter and Maria frozen. Nothing can stop him now.

Duck Dodgers: My brakes could. And now I'll return to normal. (Lands)

WOW! Dodgers has moved from last place to 13th. That was quite a power you had there.

Duck Dodgers: One of the many advantages of the 24th and a half century.

(In The Doomcar)

Ludwig: Is the cannon ready?

Lemmy: Yes.

Larry: And it's aimed right too.

Ludwig: FIRE! (Shoots)

And the Koopalings have shot down The Vampire Wheeler.

Dracula: I'll get you yet!

And now, after a bad break, Kaiba has ended up in last place.

Kaiba: But not for long. (Pulls lever)

And Kaiba has summoned his Blue-Eyes! It carries him away, he flies over the track, bypassing many turns.

Mokuba: Seto is gliding right through the competition.

And now he has 6th place, and is about to pass Alucard.

Kaiba: Blue-Eyes, attack him!

And the dragon breathes it's fiery breath! Alucard is engulfed.

Alucard: No! (Uses Resist Fire)

And Alucard has made himself immune to fire. He's still in 5th!

Kaiba: (BLEEP) that item!

And the Blue-Eyes leaves the field.

And now the leaders enter a dark cave. But it seems the Koopalings are already through it. Why are they out of The Doomcar?

Wendy: We were just placing a detour sign that will send the racers up L6, one of the tallest mountains in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Iggy: And it's set, let's get back in.

And now the Doomcar continues it's lead, and doesn't plan to lose it.

Gwonam: Detour? SQAUDALA! WE ARE OFF!

And now Gwonam heads to L6. It seems the Koopalings didn't consider the fact the Motor Carpet floats above ground. And he's well over, and has skipped quite a bit of the course.

Roy: AW YEAH! This hitchhiking was a great idea!

Morton: Of course. I chose a good plan, which was to...

Roy: Yeah, yeah, I know.

(Meanwhile, in The Doomcar)

Lemmy: Gwonam flew over the mountain.

Ludwig: Oh, for (BLEEP)'s sake! Why did he have to be first to get out? In fact, I have a plan.

And The Doomcar... Jumps off the track?

Iggy: It's a glitch, we'll be dropped off by Lakitu miles ahead.

And Lakitu appears to pull them out. And the glitch works. The Doomcar is back in the lead.

Gwonam: Those little bastards.

Meanwhile, Waluigi leaves the cave.

Waluigi: Ah, the old sneaky sign kit. (Runs over the detour sign)

And now the race can proceed as normal. But nobody can catch the two leaders now, can they? And what's this? The Card Mobile has appeared in front of Waluigi?

Joey: This Time Wizard is more useful than I thought.

Yami Yugi: Now take this! I play the Magic Card 'LOL Internet'!

(LOL Internet starts playing as the Card Mobile speeds up to 88 MPH)

Joey: NYEEEEHHHHHHHH! WHAT'S HAPPENING!?

Yami Yugi: We're violating the speed limit to the point we also broke the Time Barrier.

And the Card Mobile has disappeared into another time.

Now, in 10th place, we find Mega Man.

Mega Man: Is it ready, Dr. Light?

Dr. Light: Yes, now you can activate it.

And what is he using? He's pulling the lever... A gun is raising from under the Fast Funkster's hood?

Mega Man: Not just any gun!

He fires at an ice cave miles up a mountain the leaders are approaching. And he fires at an ice wall? Wait, it's a Portal Gun! Mega Man enters his portal, and is now miles ahead of the pack. And this doesn't seem to please the Koopalings at all, as Larry is climbing out, ready to chuck a Bob-Omb!

Cheatsy: Don't call me Larry! I! AM! CHEATSY! (Chucks Bob-Omb)

And that explosion has destroyed a segment of the mountain the cave was on. And there's no track. And Mega Man finds out too late to react, and falls off the mountain, and bounces right back to the base. The Doomcar passes.

Mega Man: Blast!

And now The Doomcar goes up the mountain.

(In The Doomcar)

Ludwig: Nice throw, Larry.

Larry: Um, what? Did I throw something?

Wendy: Yeah, you chucked a Bob-Omb at Mega Man.

Larry: I don't think I know what you're talking about.

Lemmy: Hmm, my guess is that Cheatsy became the dominant self.

Larry: That other me is so annoying with his take-overs.

We'll be back after these commercials.

(Commercial starts)

Billy Mays: HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR DRACULA & PARODY ALL-STARS RACING: THE GAME! PLAY AS ALL 18 RACERS WITH THEIR UNIQUE SPECIAL ABILITIES! GO THROUGH AN EXCITING ADVENTURE MODE, WHERE YOU'LL FACE MANY BOSSES, AND IF YOU DO WELL ENOUGH, YOU MAY EVEN GET TO RACE TRIALMAN HIMSELF! IT COSTS 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.99! CALL RIGHT NOW AND WE'LL ALSO SEND YOU A SMASH BROS. STYLE TROPHY OF ONE OF THE VECHILES, INCLUDING DRIVERS!

(Commercial ends)

When we last left the Wacky Racers, The Doomcar was climbing up a mountain road, and they are now approaching the site which Cheatsy devastated to keep Mega Man from taking the lead.

Ludwig: OH NO! Cheatsy didn't consider how we'd get across when he chucked the Bob-Omb.

Lemmy: Stop the car, I can get us across.

And Lemmy's going to the gap, where he fires his freeze gun. The gap is fixed. The Doomcar continues. And they throw out a Bob-Omb to prevent others from using Lemmy's frozen bridge.

Mokuba: What a dirty trick!

And now, at the bottom, Mega Man is activating his Rush Jet configuration. And he jets to the top of the mountain, and is now following the Koopalings as they leave the mountain road and head into Icicle City, where they must head for the finish line at the town square. Menawhile, Kaiba has arrived at the mountain thanks to Dragon Power, but he's run out of it. He'll have to go up the mountain road manually.

Kaiba: Screw the road, I have money! (Drives right up the side of the mountain)

So now there's 3 racers in Icicle City, what order they finish in is the big question.

But it seems that after a sneaky shortcut, The King has skipped most of the track and has appeared in Icicle City. The crowd is tense at the finish line. The King is approaching the pack. They're neck and neck! It looks like a photo finish!

King: Did you say photo finish?

And it is a photo finish! And in a few moments, we'll have the picture.

(After getting the picture)

And the Koopalings won by using Getaway Power. Kaiba used a Blue-Eyes to make his car slightly longer, allowing him to finish second. And in third, Mega Man! And can you believe it? The King stopped to pose for his picture. What a big ham.

King: OAH HAHAHAHAHAHUHUHUHAHAHA!

(Meanwhile, thousands of miles away)

Morton: You see that Roy, our siblings finished in first, which means they won the Wacky Race, so that means they are the winners, and this is because they used their Getaway Power, which is the power where they pu...

Roy: SHUT UP! (Punches Morton)

Gwonam: Just why did we disappear partway through the race?

**End of chapter**


End file.
